Jump to content

Welcome to Darkness Forums
Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to create topics, post replies to existing threads, give reputation to your fellow members, get your own private messenger, post status updates, manage your profile and so much more. This message will be removed once you have signed in.
Login to Account Create an Account
Photo

How do you men react to a crying woman?

- - - - -

This topic has been archived. This means that you cannot reply to this topic.
41 replies to this topic

#1
Innanna

Innanna

    Methuselah

  • Twilight
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 18,843 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Sharpening my cutlery
I have met some big, burly, strong don't-take-shit-from-anyone guys that fall apart if they see a woman cry or if they know they made her cry. One man told me he would much rather face a plattoon of armed soldiers than one angry or crying woman. My bf is kind of like that. He was a biker and a soldier for 12 years. He fought in Kuwait and Granada, he has 43 confirmed kills, he doesn't fear anyone or anything but if I cry, he is at a total loss. .

Heaven forbid if they make their mothers cry. Then they really panic! My kids can't stand to see me cry. They'll threaten and go after anyone that would make me cry but if they are the ones that made me cry they have no idea what to do


So guys, how do you react if you see a woman cry or if you know you made her cry? What if that woman is your mom?

Edited by Innanna, 23 August 2007 - 04:23 PM.


#2
Beorht

Beorht

    Eternal

  • Twilight
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 11,858 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:The Oligarchic Collective of Dystopia
  • Interests:Didjeridu, Jew's Harp, Etymology, Conspiracy Theories, Geography, Ethnography, Mysticism, The Macabre, Paranormal and Supernatural. Sociology, Politics, Semantics, History, Literature, Music, Moving and still Pictures.
If I fancied her, then I'd want to comfort her. Maybe, depending on the context and the situation. Most of the time, I'd just feel awkward and uncomfortable.

If I felt I'd made a woman cry, and that I really was in the wrong then I'd feel guilty. But the crying might make me too uncomfortable to apologise.

If I thought she was an idiot, and had done something wrong... then her tears would evoke no sympathy from me. In fact, it would probably make me more pissed off with her.

Edited by Bright One, 23 August 2007 - 04:32 PM.


#3
Hacker

Hacker

    High Priest

  • Twilight
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 26,287 posts
  • Gender:Male
Tears generally don't affect me. Not even my wife moves me much with tears. It's an appeal to emotion, and I respond better to logic than emotion. That said, my wife's won the bout several times by tearing up and so have my kids.

#4
Gamebrain

Gamebrain

    Mentor

  • Darkling
  • Pip
  • 107 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Interests:Gaming, Internet, Stuff, Heavy Metal
If I see a crying woman, I might be intrigued to ask what the matter is and to comfort her if possible. I dont see anything wrong with crying, whether out of sadness or joy. People are supposed to feel emotion. Without it, we wouldnt be human.

Long story short, its ok to cry.

#5
escoban

escoban

    Ancient

  • Twilight
  • PipPipPip
  • 8,203 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Slovenia
  • Interests:cookies?
Crying females are kind of daunting yes, but I find that poking them in the ribs with a finger solves the problem.

#6
Jones

Jones

    Noble

  • Twilight
  • PipPip
  • 4,256 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Below the radar
  • Interests:All that jazz...
It's no different from when men are crying. Why would it be?

#7
Beorht

Beorht

    Eternal

  • Twilight
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 11,858 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:The Oligarchic Collective of Dystopia
  • Interests:Didjeridu, Jew's Harp, Etymology, Conspiracy Theories, Geography, Ethnography, Mysticism, The Macabre, Paranormal and Supernatural. Sociology, Politics, Semantics, History, Literature, Music, Moving and still Pictures.

It's no different from when men are crying. Why would it be?

They do it more, I suppose.

Edited by Bright One, 23 August 2007 - 05:11 PM.


#8
Vore

Vore

    High Priest

  • Twilight
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 28,499 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:England, West Midlands
  • Interests:Desire fulfillment, Exploration of the senses, Exploration of other peoples senses, Kung Fu, Eternity, The humour innate in humanity.
Same as male tears...I want to help....and if I caused them...I want to know why.

#9
Raza

Raza

    Ancient

  • Twilight
  • PipPipPip
  • 9,010 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:http://vampirefreaks.com/Raza
  • Interests:Debate, philosophy, politics, society. Enjoying myself: parties, sex, drugs, aesthetics.
Depends. If it's someone that interests me enough to care, I might attempt to find out what is wrong and offer as gentle input as I can manage. Most of the time though, people crying around me are people I've already put off as hopelessly irrational, and I won't bother getting involved.

#10
escoban

escoban

    Ancient

  • Twilight
  • PipPipPip
  • 8,203 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Slovenia
  • Interests:cookies?
Because women are insane. That's the difference.

#11
Jones

Jones

    Noble

  • Twilight
  • PipPip
  • 4,256 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Below the radar
  • Interests:All that jazz...

They do it more, I suppose.


Let's keep crude generalizations out of the picture, eh?

#12
Beorht

Beorht

    Eternal

  • Twilight
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 11,858 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:The Oligarchic Collective of Dystopia
  • Interests:Didjeridu, Jew's Harp, Etymology, Conspiracy Theories, Geography, Ethnography, Mysticism, The Macabre, Paranormal and Supernatural. Sociology, Politics, Semantics, History, Literature, Music, Moving and still Pictures.

Let's keep crude generalizations out of the picture, eh?

Awwww but crude generalizations are fun :(.

#13
Jones

Jones

    Noble

  • Twilight
  • PipPip
  • 4,256 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Below the radar
  • Interests:All that jazz...

Awwww but crude generalizations are fun :(.


Are they also fun when the feminazis start using them on you? That we're all pigs, worthless and whatnot? I don't think so, anyway. I don't like being judged by some ridiculous and obviously flawed perception based on my gender. I don't liked hearing it at family reunions, bars, parties, etc.. It's like getting knocked over the head with a hammer every time you show your face anywhere. That's just me, of course, but I don't see the need for any of it. It's so old-fashioned, and I think enough time has passed now to allow us to move on.

#14
Blackbird

Blackbird

    Noble

  • Twilight
  • PipPip
  • 3,567 posts
  • Gender:Male
tends to hit me with guilt and/or shame, if it's my fault. if i'm really pissed and am going off on a girl, if she starts crying, i'll snap out of it and start feeling really bad. i'll kinda have to comfort her or i'll feel like shit about it for a while, regardless of who it is (unless it's a total stranger). if it's my mom, it's tough...she's passively manipulative and a lot of the times she'll use her tears to get people "on her side" of something, but i still have to do something...i mean, she's my mom.

#15
Beorht

Beorht

    Eternal

  • Twilight
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 11,858 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:The Oligarchic Collective of Dystopia
  • Interests:Didjeridu, Jew's Harp, Etymology, Conspiracy Theories, Geography, Ethnography, Mysticism, The Macabre, Paranormal and Supernatural. Sociology, Politics, Semantics, History, Literature, Music, Moving and still Pictures.

Are they also fun when the feminazis start using them on you? That we're all pigs, worthless and whatnot? I don't think so, anyway. I don't like being judged by some ridiculous and obviously flawed perception based on my gender. I don't liked hearing it at family reunions, bars, parties, etc.. It's like getting knocked over the head with a hammer every time you show your face anywhere. That's just me, of course, but I don't see the need for any of it. It's so old-fashioned, and I think enough time has passed now to allow us to move on.

Do you think that there is the smallest chance that you're blowing things out of proportion, or taking things out of context?

Edited by Bright One, 23 August 2007 - 06:01 PM.


#16
Jones

Jones

    Noble

  • Twilight
  • PipPip
  • 4,256 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Below the radar
  • Interests:All that jazz...
Sure it could be worse than this, but I really just despise this gender-segregation crap. I don't see any reason for making things out to be any different because of a particular gender. Why does it have to be different? Can a guy that would comfort a crying girl not comfort a crying guy? Would a girl necessarily react differently to a crying girl/guy? Just take the original post about that guy that would rather face an army than a crying woman. Doesn't that say it all? Like crying women are supposedly horrible to be in the presence of, or that guys are emotionally crippled and unable to deal with it. I just don't see the point.

#17
Beorht

Beorht

    Eternal

  • Twilight
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 11,858 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:The Oligarchic Collective of Dystopia
  • Interests:Didjeridu, Jew's Harp, Etymology, Conspiracy Theories, Geography, Ethnography, Mysticism, The Macabre, Paranormal and Supernatural. Sociology, Politics, Semantics, History, Literature, Music, Moving and still Pictures.

Sure it could be worse than this, but I really just despise this gender-segregation crap. I don't see any reason for making things out to be any different because of a particular gender. Why does it have to be different?

But is the whole "females are more likely to cry than males" really a gender segregation issue. I'm not so sure, I thought it had more to do with the subtle differences between the sexes... be they inherent or learned, I'm not learned in the field.

Can a guy that would comfort a crying girl not comfort a crying guy?

Wouldn't that depend on why she was crying? And to be honest, a lot of the time people might feel like they were intruding or something, like it wasn't any of their business... that their intervention wouldn't be welcome or appreciated.

Would a girl necessarily react differently to a crying girl/guy? Just take the original post about that guy that would rather face an army than a crying woman. Doesn't that say it all? Like crying women are supposedly horrible to be in the presence of, or that guys are emotionally crippled and unable to deal with it. I just don't see the point.

I'm not sure it's pleasant to be in the presence of a crying person. In fact, if it was more common for women to cry then it would probably be more horrible to be in the presence of a crying man.

#18
Jones

Jones

    Noble

  • Twilight
  • PipPip
  • 4,256 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Below the radar
  • Interests:All that jazz...

But is the whole "females are more likely to cry than males" really a gender segregation issue. I'm not so sure, I thought it had more to do with the subtle differences between the sexes... be they inherent or learned, I'm not learned in the field.


The reason this is segregation is because you don't have this perception from any statistics or fields of science, which makes it an assertion. Not a baseless one, though, because the norms we have in society tells us women are soft-hearted, emotional, compassionate and all that, just like the very same society teaches women to behave and feel in this way. I've met many that differ from these norms, many very strong, indipendant and resourceful women. In much the same way I've met some very emotional and depressed guys. There are plenty of deviations, so it isn't just some kind of freak case.

What all this really boils down to is that it's really just a matter of the individual in question because people at the bottom line just are individuals, and you can't assign certain qualities to a specific person based on the persons gender, yet society keeps telling us to see people as their stereotyped genders rather than individuals. That's why it's segregation.

Wouldn't that depend on why she was crying? And to be honest, a lot of the time people might feel like they were intruding or something, like it wasn't any of their business... that their intervention wouldn't be welcome or appreciated.


Of course there are a lot of circumstances to be considered. I'm talking about it in a pretty general way, and as a main principle, many would like to be supportive and comforting. I'm more focused on the bigger picture here.

I'm not sure it's pleasant to be in the presence of a crying person. In fact, if it was more common for women to cry then it would probably be more horrible to be in the presence of a crying man.


Well, I don't think I can agree to that. Even if statistics could tell us women in general cry more than men, I don't see why that affect anything. It's a weird and irrational norm, that men are supposed not to cry, and yet they get blamed for being 'emotionally crippled', and unable to deal with feelings. I personally think we should all be allowed to be human, regardless of who society tells us is more human.

#19
V Whorhees

V Whorhees

    Eternal

  • Twilight
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 11,677 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Atlanta, GA
I cant stand to see a woman crying..It catches me like a deer in the headlights..

#20
Nemesis Chylde

Nemesis Chylde

    Ancient

  • Twilight
  • PipPipPip
  • 8,675 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Your Nearest Dungeon
  • Interests:Sex.
Every man I've ever been with has responded to my tears with absolute and utter anger.

*shrugs*

Apparently they think it's a manipulative thing. They're wrong, but that's what they think.