71 replies to this topic

[Bard of Thorns]

Well, I just got notified that Just Because won "The Subversive Human"'s November poetry contest! Yes, what has become known as my second-most-inappropriate poem has actually WON A CONTEST! Granted, it was only a $25 prize, but the editors said it "kneed us right in the groin!" (to quote the email) Can't lose with an impact like that!

[Bard of Thorns]

This poem has been banned from several venues, and left grown men in the fetal position, or crawling on the floor laughing. If your country actively enforces any kind of decency or anti-obscenity laws, it may be illegal for you to read this, but I'm not 100% sure on that one. This is not meant for children, and again, evokes imagery that may make this illegal to read aloud in public. I am not responsible if you get arrested for reading this in the wrong place. This poem is dedicated to my best friend's ex, and newly dedicated to a certain nuisance whom I won't bother to name, but may be clearly identifiable by his love of reactionary political rhetoric.

Ode to Pretension

Your every praise is a tampon popsicle,
Bloody and reeking from your brother's period

Your every deed is vindaloo curry.
Just watching you is enough to make me shit fire!

Your every critique is bad sex.
Not just an "eh" blowjob,
But a truly awful way to learn to fuck a shitcunt!

And to think, it could have all been avoided,
If only you would have taken those tampon popsicle praises,
And shoved them up your fire-shitting, barely-fuckable shitcunt!

Edited by Alaras, 08 March 2011 - 02:47 AM.

[Bard of Thorns]

This one's a sijo I wrote for a contest. It's currently untitled.



Simple touches, aches, caresses, as we go to our bed
To tantalize, arouse, ensnare, or just to please the mind
I remember still, that night we shared - away from prying eyes

[Bard of Thorns]

ANNOUNCEMENT: Within the next few months, my first book of poetry will be released (title currently undecided). I'll give full details when it comes out.

[Bard of Thorns]

Musings on the Way to Penn

I've seen your type before.
Cocky, arrogant, macho power-broker wannabe,
The guido haircut, overdone suit, overpriced shades,
Conveniently distant girlfriend,
Who you cheat on while she's too far away to catch you,
And let's not forget the gratuitous racism!
Your swagger screams to me, begs to be broken in,
Ridden raw and fucked right out of you.
Your assholery pleads with me to fuck your pretty-boy face,
Pop that untouched cherry territory.
Doesn't matter that you're straight,
Or that I let you believe my ex was a chick.
I'd still fuck the bullshit out of you.

(Submitted to Oysters and Chocolate)

[fatherkabral]

I love your work. Usually I say more...and can't help feeling like more should be said, but I don't know what. I love your work.

[ObsidianAngel]

This is very good and allows me to reflect on a part of myself with it. Thank y6u for sharing it and please dont stop.

[Bard of Thorns]

Affect


Layers and layers of clear hardened plastic masks
Fake expressions of real emotions
Forced laughter paired with great amusement
Overdone smiles for a contentment that others
disbelieve
Impersonated cheer for a bright mood that refuses
to be on display
Bury it all under clear plastic masks and
unwanted apologies
Throw it away for a faux-chilled exterior
simmering with well-meaning lies
Give it up for a painful monotone, shallow
reputation, spineless reality

[Bard of Thorns]

January 16th, 2012

Decades ago, one man had a dream
It was a vision that encompassed the hopes of myriad oppressed peoples

He dreamed that none would be judged for the color of their skin
That none would face hatred for who they love
That money would have no meaning in the hearts of men
He dreamed that difference would be welcomed with open arms
That none would bear sling or arrow for who or what they are

He died so that his dream could live

Today, corporations are people and money is speech
Today, leaders renew their fight to force the gay community back in their closets
Today, fighting for liberty is considered "suspect"
Today, peaceful protest is classified as "low-level terrorism" by the CIA
Today, a man who portrays autism as evil is poised to serve as an advisor on disability policy
Today, the Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan is a Congressman

Today, a man who died for his dream is remembered
His legacy, discarded
His words, unheeded
His dream, desecrated

Edited by Alaras, 20 January 2012 - 02:59 PM.

[Bard of Thorns]

There once were five men from D.C.
Who turned justice to travesty
They turned every jail
Into the next Chippendale’s
So the cops could see more man-titty!

Edited by Alaras, 02 April 2012 - 09:20 PM.

[Idnaceus Crow]

It's been awhile, but inspiration finally stomped on my balls, and here's the result. I call it Funeral

With a love as fierce as Pygmalion's for his statue
With the persistence of a cricket's song
A child ran off to war for glory
It's such a pity that he's gone.
Raucous parades abound on the streets
But in this house, there is no room for cheer
The memories linger on, there is no reprieve
And thus we are trapped in the trouble of why we came here
A child ran off to war for glory, however, all he got
Was a gunshot to the head, and three bullets to the heart
O spiteful Fates, you damn us so!
Go torment someone else!
Do you not have other boys to slay?
In your defense, is there anything to say?
Or was he really the one to blame,
Or was it really just because you were depraved?

It's been awhile, but inspiration finally stomped on my balls, and here's the result. I call it Funeral

With a love as fierce as Pygmalion's for his statue
With the persistence of a cricket's song
A child ran off to war for glory
It's such a pity that he's gone.
Raucous parades abound on the streets
But in this house, there is no room for cheer
The memories linger on, there is no reprieve
And thus we are trapped in the trouble of why we came here
A child ran off to war for glory, however, all he got
Was a gunshot to the head, and three bullets to the heart
O spiteful Fates, you damn us so!
Go torment someone else!
Do you not have other boys to slay?
In your defense, is there anything to say?
Or was he really the one to blame,
Or was it really just because you were depraved?

I really love this one so far...War Cries keep poppin' in my head. What poet tree did you bloom from?

[Bard of Thorns]

Zappy-Zappy! (A Tribute to the Judge Rotenberg Center, Canton, MA)

Zappy-Zappy! Happy-Happy!
Zappy-Zappy! Happy-Happy!

Trying to pick up a grape?
Zappy-Zappy!
Zappy-Zappy!

Raised a hand to scratch your taint?
Zappy-Zappy!
Zappy-Zappy!

Need to answer nature’s call?
Zappy-Zappy!
Zappy-Zappy!

Ammonia makes you wanna bawl?
Zappy-Zappy!
Zappy- Zappy!

Speaking up about the pain?
Zappy-Zappy!
Zappy-Zappy!

Wish that we would go away?
Zappy-Zappy!
Zappy-Zappy!

Think Mom and Dad will make it end?

You might wanna think again!
Zappy-Zappy!

Why aren’t you happy?
Time for LOTS of Zappy-Zappy!

Edited by Bard of Thorns, 20 August 2012 - 12:20 PM.