2896 replies to this topic

[ErrantKnight]

New here. Think I said that over on Pinup's line. sorry about the vandalism. I dig your stuff. Been writing for awhile, but have tried to stay away from this world, took me some strange places many years ago. When nothing is left, you tend to go back to what you know. If anybody's interested, I'll put some of my garbage up. if not, I'll fade out...

[Saronin_Narsil]

Well lets see it then, since you're here and all you might as well right? At anyrate, since you seem to view yourself as an experienced writer, why call it garbage? We will be the judge of that, and by we I mean all of Dark Whispers.....at least all that take the time to stop by such as I....Hopefully next I'm here something will appear....

Saronin

[Sucidial Importance]

Yes I can agree there...about coming back to what you know...and I know what affect this world can have on you, as you do I'm sure, but let's see your work! It's amazing I'm sure and to hear what people say about it only makes you feel better! Put it on up, hun! xxx Mc

[ErrantKnight]

Well lets see it then, since you're here and all you might as well right? At anyrate, since you seem to view yourself as an experienced writer, why call it garbage? We will be the judge of that, and by we I mean all of Dark Whispers.....at least all that take the time to stop by such as I....Hopefully next I'm here something will appear....

Saronin

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The Morning doth come to chase away my peace
lay in bed with the window open
listening to the sounds of night
at once I'm at rest and also afraid
for the things that stalk are also within
the burning rays creep across the 'scape
scorching the blissful black away
revealing me in my starving state
I want no more than to let it all go
to become one with what I feel is right
but the other world, the nether world
the one that I am no longer part of
It calls me again with its beacon of light
forcing me to forsake my nature
I rise, despondent, and wait for the cycle
As it renews, so do I
once more a child of the night


another little bit I came up with on the fly. Next time I'll bring in one of my notebooks and pull a couple out of there

thanks for taking a look at this. I appreciate having somebody read it who actually understands a bit rather than freaking out and labeling me.

[Astarael]

i will guarentee you that most of the people here on dark whispers have dealt with your demons.. or have ones of their own that they must contend with.. so not many will immediately label or judge you.. for most of us are quite the same..

i highly enjoy your work.. especially since they are in the heat of the moment..

your poem on kitty's thread was masterful as well.. i hope to view more soon..

[Eye Candy]

Hun,your work is very dark and shouting for attention,I love it hun.Keep it up!And Welcome to DARK WHISPERS!!! Hope to see more!

Darkvamp6791

[ErrantKnight]

Hun,your work is very dark and shouting for attention,I love it hun.Keep it up!And Welcome to DARK WHISPERS!!! Hope to see more!

Darkvamp6791

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I don't consider myself accomplished, I simply write a lot. I have found that there is a very limited audience that can appreciate or indeed, understand, what it is I'm attempting to rather clumsily express. I don't sell myself short, I simply sell what I have. In the process of rebuilding my life from what I was before, I am attempting to bring out those things that brought me a sense of completion.

truly, I am honored to find myself amongst people who know...


I drink
far too often and far too much
but what is left?
the world I live in
has no room for me
the company I seek
so far removed
My heart is open for all to see
but I am damned for my
ability to feel
I would share it
nurture it
grow it to give to you all
but every effort is met with
every resistance
Still I give all that I am
in the hopes of finding one
who feels as I do
that the world has left them behind
that society spins without us
that we can be okay
without the rest of the faceless mass

[ErrantKnight]

I don't consider myself accomplished, I simply write a lot.  I have found that there is a very limited audience that can appreciate or indeed, understand, what it is I'm attempting to rather clumsily express.  I don't sell myself short, I simply sell what I have.  In the process of rebuilding my life from what I was before, I am attempting to bring out those things that brought me a sense of completion.

truly, I am honored to find myself amongst people who know...
I drink
far too often and far too much
but what is left?
the world I live in
has no room for me
the company I seek
so far removed
My heart is open for all to see
but I am damned for my
ability to feel
I would share it
nurture it
grow it to give to you all
but every effort is met with
every resistance
Still I give all that I am
in the hopes of finding one
who feels as I do
that the world has left them behind
that society spins without us
that we can be okay
without the rest of the faceless mass

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

as requested elsewhere (see intoxiKate thread, which I so ashamedly vandalized...) a bit of detritus from one of my notebooks...(must have been early in the night, I can still read the handwriting...hehehehe)

taken out of context
everything that was means nothing now
I look and I stare
but I can't see anything anymore
the blur at the edge of focus
a black so deep it's blue
evidence of something
can't prove anything more than its absence would
I am an anachronism
a throwback to an era long since buried
all that was is in my hands
slowly sifted from a clenched fist
left empty
the tears wept
sink into the ground
disappear as if they never were
but they cut into my face
tracks through the dust of ages
my kind are not welcome here

[ErrantKnight]

as requested elsewhere (see intoxiKate thread, which I so ashamedly vandalized...)  a bit of detritus from one of my notebooks...(must have been early in the night, I can still read the handwriting...hehehehe)

taken out of context
everything that was means nothing now
I look and I stare
but I can't see anything anymore
the blur at the edge of focus
a black so deep it's blue
evidence of something
can't prove anything more than its absence would
I am an anachronism
a throwback to an era long since buried
all that was is in my hands
slowly sifted from a clenched fist
left empty
the tears wept
sink into the ground
disappear as if they never were
but they cut into my face
tracks through the dust of ages
my kind are not welcome here

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[ErrantKnight]

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

anybody want to throw on a rant, be my guest. I'm going to go off for just a moment, maybe. or maybe I won't. sometimes I just feel like writing or typing to see the words appear before me.

ya know what? It's jacked. pure and simple. I'm 29, divorced, living in a town where I don't know anyone and nobody knows me, and I can't help but feel that I'm being a whining simp for expecting the world to, I don't know, belly up the the bar and have a drink with me. Maybe just this once, I could find a place where I can fit in (If I need a place to run to, and I need a place to hide, and I need a place where I don't need a smile as my disguise--Life of Agony) and not have to feel like I need to hide something just so that people will talk to me.

I've hated myself for so long that I can't even remember why anymore. I know what happened to the person that I became. I don't want to be that anymore. My wife was a good woman to me, and I...changed. I don't know what it is that happened. Well, that's gone now. We're still friends, strangely enough. But for all the things that I say I want to be, I won't ever know for sure until somebody gives me a chance.

People say you have to make that chance. I picked up, moved 1600 miles from home to find a place where nobody knew of my dismal failure, and they had me pegged from the day I started. I still have no friends here. People that I associate with, for sure, but when my true face shows, when the facade is just too heavy to keep up, they either turn their backs, or turn on me.

Most of the 'poetry' (that term is used extremely loosely) that I've written has to do with my feelings toward self. I have no self-esteem left, and self-worth is a distant memory. I feel something akin to love rekindling in me, but with nobody to share it with, it counts for nothing. Just a step or two up from freak or stalker, except while I have gathered a couple of phone numbers, I do not call. I see it in their eyes. This is not the place for me.

For any who show the patience to read through this, I thank you. For those that read the little meanderings above and have encouraged me, I thank you. I have lived so far from the love of others for so long, I just want to come back to that. To love with no expectation, to give with no thought of receiving, and for people to understand this about me, and accept it.

Someday, I hope to have a family again. I loved being married, even though I became a bad husband. I have been a teacher, and a father-figure for some, and would love children of my own someday. This darkness we all share in, is not darkness necessarily in the absence of light, but simply something deeper than the superficial pastels that so much of the world likes to content itself with. I would impart this depth on my children, if it meant that they understood there is a reality deeper than movies and videogames and all the other mindless drek they are bombarded with.

I guess that, despite I now have experience in life, I still feel that I'm a child, struggling to understand the why's of the world, and how so much happens, but so little makes any sense. Look into my eyes, tell me what you see.

To be honest, I don't know why I felt the need to go on this little trip. I guess it could be poetry in a sense, because I think many of the others here feel the same way, for many many reasons, but that root issue of being misunderstood simply because we are in touch with the passionate (not necessarily erotic, but there is that also) emotions that drive us.

In the words of a friend of mine... "maybe you just need to get laid" (sound of my head smacking against a wall)

All I can do is laugh, because he doesn't understand that while I've played that game a couple of times, I realize that that act without something underneath it leaves me just as hollow as I was before.

Maybe with that said, I can begin to write other things than the self-directed hate, or the contempt for a world that may be my own skewed view more than the world's fault itself. Maybe some Vamp-erotica, maybe things that are the brighter side of dark. I don't know.

As I said before, Thank you all for taking the time, and if anyone wants to post a gripe about things, fire away. sometimes, we just need to be free to talk as people, rather than having to rely on an expressive medium. I can bitch with the rest of them, but I can't always write eloquently.

[ErrantKnight]

And here I dwell
In my own twisted little
self-important Hell
I've given all that I had to
find that I haven't given anything
at all
You all are my loves
you all are my pains
you all represent
All the things that make me man
A vision of strength
painted on glass
just one little tap will send it
all to the winds
All I've tried to be
and all I've wanted in this
is to just be right
to be good
to be just
to understand
and to not be belittled for that
I've beaten myself down
while you tried to pull me up
by my own two hands betrayed
I've not cut myself
nor kissed the barrel
but my truest friend of late
has been in the bottle
I choose my death so slow and lingering
keep my scars hidden inside
turn me out to show this ache
a desire for fire to cleanse the slate
I still feel the love
it's undirected and wild
I still feel the hate
that keeps me from receiving the love
I love you all
goddammit, I love you all, don't you see
this is my one cry for help
even as my raw throat bleeds
you've seen me low, seen me weep
seen me out of control, so indiscreet
but I have nothing left in me now
but to love you all
Please take this
and know it to be true
that there can be no me
if there is no you

[ErrantKnight]

The darkness descends and I rise
I join you, we become the night
the heat of your flesh as it presses against mine
the slippery of sweat soaking into my bed
sweet salty tang of lust made real
The Dali-world becoming tangible
twist together, two as one
There is not a thing in this world
that I cannot, will not do for you
you own me as I control the moves
I listen to every little gasp
every little clue that shows me how to please you
the lover's embrace
The release in the heat of passion's inferno
night becomes day
we become mortal again
if only to protect the inner us from the light

[ErrantKnight]

Cool Blue Nothing

the night, the dark, only it's not so dark
the outline, so hazy, that I can only make out the motion
I see a hand reach out from the void inside me
My breath frosting with the iciness that comes with it
I'm scared, afraid, terrified
that the cool blue nothing has come to take me away
revel in the notion that I don't have to burn anymore
but what do I know if not the scorching within
Still, it is so daunting to know that I'm sought
Faceless embodiment of my own antithesis
Claimed by the image in the mirror reversed
steam where we meet, ice versus fire
there is no clear winner in that eternal game
and yet I have a choice, fight the inevitable
or succumb to the cool blue nothing?

[ErrantKnight]

My eyelids close
Like the lid of a coffin on the light of life
Darkness consuming
Welcoming
All the love I thought I once felt left in the world above
Isolated, I journey down
There is nothing there anymore
Nothing here anymore
Nothing anywhere anymore
That I can be a part of and not feel guilt
Nothing that I can leave behind
And not feel guilt
For all I do, all I think,
Is inextricably linked to a world that cannot accept me
That world that I cannot allow myself to be accepted in
For all my love and all my will to give
There are none left to accept it
Blinded still by the tears I hold
My heart that no longer beats
Blood in vein long since run cold
I long only for the whispering sleep
That even in my own self-hatred I deny me
And those who had whom I turned my back
Thinking in my strength I was saving them
Found that in my weakness I was saving them
From having to endure my downfall
Descent the only option left
No bullet can take what’s left of my life
No life I live is worth even that
I dwell here now in a world of black
Waiting for the lungs to stop what only mechanically exists
The spark dwindles and dies
And I am left once more
That which others enjoy I dread
Because that means I’m still here
What makes me stronger
Ending it
Or not?

[ErrantKnight]

to step invites misstep
to love invites hatred
to try invites failure
to live invites death
all these things I am
for want of one to receive another
an existence in opposition
a study in frustration
for every desire is counteracted
and every wish is never granted

eyes look forward to the past long gone
the things I feel make sense to none
while I myself stay and rot
the world moves on

[ErrantKnight]

There isn’t a thing to say that will exonerate me of my crimes
All I ever wanted to do was the right thing
But there is nothing in me that is right enough for you

I’m coming to realize that not everything needs to be like this,
Does not need to carry the burden of guilt or shame
I am the one who drags this on.

You gave me a chance to prove I didn’t have to be
The thing I made myself out to be.
I’m sorry I couldn’t stand up enough for you

I live in disgrace, disavowed and disregarded
The trash in the street deserves more than me
No declaration need be made to deny me.

I take the blame all on myself to save you the effort
I take your hand and point your finger at me
It’s the least I can do for the trouble I’ve caused

What is is, if it is insufficient, then that is also the way of things
I am, and I am less that what is even the minimum
Yet, here I am still

The man in me cries for release
The boy in me died years ago
There is nothing that comprises me that deserves the light of day

The music, the chants, all the words that strangely reflect me
So sordid, so aching, so longing for justification
I do them no justice, though they explain me better

Perhaps I should quit trying things to make so much sense
Living in a world with ever-changing rules and boundaries
I’ve not flexed, I’ve broken down inside again.

[ErrantKnight]

Sleep little angel, as if the world won’t hurt you
I’ll stand in the way of its barbs
I’ll take it all to preserve you
To let you rest from your travails

So sweet, so gentle
While my hands are rough with callous
I dare not feel your grace upon me
This hideous creature not worthy of that

I would bleed to save you the pain
I would break to see you fly again
I would live to shield you
I would die to preserve you.

I think I already have

[dark_angel55]

ur last poem reminds me of my white angel wings....i know lamo
your really good it took me awhile to read keep it up hun
xxxooxxxox love

[ErrantKnight]

ur last poem reminds me of my white angel wings....i know lamo
your really good it took me awhile to read keep it up hun
xxxooxxxox love

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Lamo nuthin' luv... I gave up looking at the shell and took up looking at the source (I need to remember that one for later.... )

I can see your wings, luv. Know that if you ever need a friend, I am here

Thanks! I'm trying to find a way to break the shell I've made for myself

I hate that I'm going to do this but....

"I wanna live
I wanna love
but it's a long dark road
outta hell"

big hugs!!!

[ErrantKnight]

In the growing rays of dawn
Your wings spread
all your glory as you take flight
I stand in your shadow
holding out my hand
not to hold you back
but perhaps to catch a feather
My angel, my love
my dream of things more than me
wheel in the sky
glimmering gold in the morning sun
In your freedom I take solace
that there is still something beautiful in the world