I don't quite know what to call myself, in all honesty, I don't really have a place I can call home when it comes to these sorts of things. Maybe I was just lucky, I don't know. One day I was at my college auditorium a few years back and a very close friend of mine got quite ditzy and fell on the stairs. She kind of resembled someone slipping on a bannana peel in a cartoon (and in real life...it doesn't end well) We all heard a snap. She was in tears on the ground and I went over to her...knelt down near her. I just had this kind of...overwhelming feeling of wanting to help her recover..without thinking just put my hand over where she was hurting and she just kind of stared up at me. I didn't think anything of it but later that night after she visited the hospital she asked me what I did...I didn't know or think about it at the time, but she said whatever I did made her feel almost instantly relieved. She had a small fracture but she wasn't in pain. the only other time something like this happened was when i was much younger. my half brother in infancy stopped breathing. it was a similar feeling of just. wanting to take control. I was much more desperate for that instance :/ there were other more frequent occurances (not all healing, some were harmful) but less significant...i just overlook them thought and put my money on luck. It just makes me wonder.
Part of me wanted to believe I played part and another part of me just dismissed it. I looked into Wicca a bit, despite the scolding I got from Christian and Catholic friends. I've always wanted to go meet Wiccans/witches/warlocks who do regular gatherings, and I've never had the chance to. Closest thing I can do is hope to find a few here.
It would be nice to know that if I did do something like this, it could be controlled and put to good use.
Trick is not letting it control me. I'm quite the curious and sinful soul.
Whatever it is doesn't only work in good ways though. It's pretty draining. Like I take on a part of the pain, i dont know how to explain it. And after all this happened the sleep paralysis thing started kicking in overgear. Maybe i just need asylum. It's just odd when that damn shadow keeps coming back. Nomatter where I am. USA. Iraq. Ireland. Antarctica. It just follows me and i cant move, it's quite annoying and I've been looking for scientific, religious and paranormal explanation!
If someone can label what this all means for me, good or bad, I'd like that. As people we must always place the unexplainable into catagories that break it down as best as possible...Unfortunately I dont know if anyone can have all the answers. That'd just be too easy, and I got this dark cloud following me around that reminds me how easy is too good to be true
Edited by Awake In Death, 15 November 2011 - 04:15 AM.
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