"Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim"

teh linkige


lol i've actually made the argument about the garment of 2 threads before.


devoted fan jim, your satire skill has gone up 50 points. and you have mastered the pownage skill.

this just goes to prove multiple points....

facts have no place in religion

people pick and choose their beliefs

religion doesn't evolve with society

laws of man and laws of the bible are against each other, which do you follow?

This one winds me up to an insane extent. Fred Phelps is a better christian than most christians.

I've often wondered.. who decides which parts are still applicable and which parts they can write off as "outdated" law? Is there some sort of panel or board that meets to determine which OT laws should be observed?

From my limited studies of christianity in general, I thought the entire OT was negated after their christ's sacrifice. I don't remember which passage, but I am fairly certain the bible states he said something along those lines himself.

Unless I'm off and there's a NT verse that labels homosexuality as a sin as well? It's been so long I honestly don't recall.

Well.. " Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, "
the doc is a jew.. not a christian..
nom..
I meen, she follows the OT.. so the NT doesn't matter to her...

But I don't think that there is anything about homosexuality being a sin in the NT.

Where did anyone say she was a christian?

I meant in general. The OP just reminded me of the question. There ARE plenty of christians who claim it's a sin for that reason.

Gone, gone, gone, gone, yes my sins are gone!
Now my soul is free and in my heart's a song!

The one I liked was when God told Abraham to take his son up a mountain and slaughter him with a blade, keeping Abe going right up to the last second, and then informing him that the whole thing was actually a hilarious prank!

God should have his own reality TV show...

On a more serious note, the priest at my local chapel was absolutely livid when my girl friend and I interrupted his congregation on Sunday to present him with an unblemished goat so we didn't have to be separated from our people after fornicating...

He seemed to think the gesture was unseemly and uncivilised. If he doesn't take Leviticus seriously, what hope is there fore the rest of us, I ask you?

generally if you can go to jail for it then its outdated. nice to know there is freedom of religion and all that

He doesn't have to take Leviticus seriously. He's not a Jew. Christians don't follow the Old Testament thanks to Christ's sacrifice. He was the last blood sacrifice God wanted.

And yet so many were later sacrificed in the name of God.

I love that article and plan to use it.

Too right, Innanna. Yahweh has killed more people than both world wars combined. Such a peaceful guy...

Hecate for the win!

Yahweh has killed noone. Humans has used his name as an excuse for killing other humans.. -.-

Then what's an "act of god" if not mass murder.

I agree though, he's killed no one, since he doesn't exist.

Alright, I'll reword the obvious. More people have been killed in the name of Yahweh than were killed in both world wars combined.

Who the hell pays attention anymore to that hypocrite supreme, Dr Laura?

Hm you could actually also say that God kills, if you think of the "we are our own gods"-thinking.

or.. no.. wait.. d'oh!

Peter Heppner is an ugly fucker...

On another note...When was the expiry date of religion? It's starting to really stink.

And why do you suddenly say that?

I didn't know who he was, googled him and found out he's some guy who fell out of the Ugly Hot Air Balloon.

Pfff! Not true! ö

Well no...Not literally true..It's a figure of speech. Thus it is figuratively true.

Nuh uh! :(

You look sad as if you're confronting a painful truth.

I'm so going to need something comforting after hearing that! :(

.. I still think he's hot.. meh..

I have a comforter right here...Let's get beneath it and discuss the nature of beauty and truth.

if you believe the Bible as literal than Yahweh killed a whole lot of people, and in some pretty imaginative ways.

Blood replacing water, locusts eating crops, sudden death of first born sons, hail, destroyed two cities with fire, flood, transmutation of matter (human into salt), ect,,

and now lets look at what it did to its own followers,

incinirated people who lived on the outside of the jewish camps of Moses while having a tempertantrum to make a point (repeatidly), plague stricken people for annoying it, poisoned meat, sent vipers after people for wanting more water, offed Aron to make a point, and told moses to tell one tribe to take spears and kill the growing unbelievers amongst their own number who disagreed with them.

oh Numbers, Deutoronomy, and Leviticus. Seriosly, reading it almost makes me feel anti-semitic thinking, "who the fuck would worship a smoked meat, blood sacrifice, kills its own followers over everything, talking cloud of darkness, fire, and thunder on a mountain, monster like this?"

its like reading something out of H.P. Lovecraft. Yahweh might as well have had a squid head for all the insane murder everyone laws and its own violant acts in the Old testament.

Those don't count! ö

Why not?

Rhuen replied in my stead. If you believe in god, he's a murderer.

the Old Testament is a lot more entertaining than the New and it is held to be a holy text by several religions - I wonder if those two facts are related?

IIRC Christians say that the New Testament supersedes the Old so a Christian does not have to do that stuff any more. I don't know what the Jewish position is (on the literal validity of the Old T).

"Thou shalt not kill" is certainly more honored in the breach than in the observance.

*wanders off to find witches to burn*