Anyone know how I can meet a real vampire? I have never met one before and I want to.

Of Course, first thing you have to do is find all three pieces of the Necronomicon, then on the sixth saturday of february you must hang a rare piece of steak off the left, not right, off the outside of your door frame at a 67 degree angle from the side of the frame, while doing this you must whistle the Andy Griffith Theme song and then go sit in the dark for seven hours straight, and then you shall meet one :lol:

I'm not so sure about that. Any more ideas? Anyone?

:D Lord_Bahamut :D lol

Possibly the first rule of Vampire boards. Don't post that question!

Quite apart from anything else you are inviting yourself a lot of unwanted attention. There's loads of people out there who are looking for curious naive people and eat them for breakfast (or worse).

Ok, I'm Lady Opaleyes. I'm as real as you want. I can show you sacred texts and perform various rituals to make you as Myself. all you have to do is meet me at The Charlatan Inn at midnight. Tell nobody you're coming, or I will not appear...I can teach you to astral travel and read people's thoughts...except...

I can't. But how do you know that?

Do a little research around the subculture before jumping in with that kind of thing, please.

And you are right not to be sure, he forgot to tell you if you want to meet a psi-vamp, you have to use smoked meat.

Thats hickory smoked! jebus get it right! :lol:

Hey, I am not scared of ANYTHING or ANYONE. I just want to meet a vampire.

Well, you're going to be waiting a while, considering they don't exist.

There are dark corners out there in this world that we have not discovered yet so don't diss the idea that vampires are real. Who knows? They might be real. Mabye they don't want to be discovered. They might walk among us. Who knows what is out there in this world. Also, I am NOT naive.

:rolleyes: Well, seems like posting on a message board is a great way to find one, then. :rolleyes:

Biologically they cannot exist, Corpse reanimation is not possible.

vampires are aliens....if you want to get there attention...take the probe out of your ass :D

How to meet a vampire?

What the hell, alright. First thing you do is wait until nightfall-it's no good if you arrive at the place during the day.

Then you go to 5638 HappyTown Lane, Fairbanks-


AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! They got me!!!


Ahhhh!!

You are all a bunch of dumbass's. Ya know?

You're the one that asked how to meet a vampire.

btw the word you were searching for is dumbasses.

Thank you very much for correcting me on the word "dumbasses". I apprieciate it very much. Look I am new here so why don't ya'll just cut me so slack okay? Please?

Oh, so just because you're new I have to cut you some slack? Please, you know, we might be a little more receptive to n00bs if they didn't ask the same questions that every other n00b asks, we might be more receptive if they actually checked to make sure that no one else has asked their question before. But they never do, and so we aren't receptive towards n00bs.

What the hell are n00bs? Sorry if some else had the same question. I didn't know. Oh, by the way, I like your poem. I think it is really cool. All I am asking is that ya'll just cut me some slack for awhile -k-?

Newbies. Its fine, just next time, check first.

Okay. I will.

Well just go to www.onekey.com and type in "meet a vampire" ore "how to become a vampire" and look at the links they got, pick out the one you like. Well gook luck.

I wasn't joking about onekey, it does work, belive, that's what I did, and well I am a vampire, and so is my friend. Hey, I guess you don't have to look far, but if you want to met one face to face go do what I said.

VAMPIRES DO EXSITE, I PROOF OF THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmm...This should be interesting. Are you actually saying that we have to believe before we can be shown evidence of vampires, or that the mere act of you stating that you are a vampire is supposed to give us all the proof we need?

One question, and I do hate to disrespect anyone, but why do we have a picture of Batman and Robin kissing, I hope this isn't turinig queer around here.

It's a new form of Artificial Respiration performed while the Victim is standing. It's all the rage in the medical community. :lol:

Turning queer? Are you insinuating that homosexuality can be passed off as though it was a disease?

In any event, I have the picture as my avatar because I thought it was funny, based on the underlying notion from the 70's that the relationship between B&R was a little more physical then the tv series led on.

Finally, the evidence I need to prove that Down's Syndrome and believing in vampires are connected.

Hahaha.



If anything, I suspect you are more of a zombie.
But I'm always up for a game. Please state your father's full name, your mother's maiden name, and your place and date of birth.

...here's how to meet a real vampire:

- bite me.

- look in the mirror.

- there's your vampire. ^_^

...paramour.

Ohh fine then I will finally come clean and admit that I am a real vampire, I live off the living by drinking their blood and will burst into flames if I am explsed to sunlight. I am 2500 years old and was cursed by Christ himself. So what would you lkie to know Darkfire87 I am here to answer your questions.

What you don't believe I am real, I wonder why?

It's because you like Disco man... No self-respecting vampire has ever liked Disco.

Ohhh I see, so now we're discriminating against the disco loving vampires? :lol: Lets all give Aaron a chance :D

Aaron, I would like to meet a vampire. I just need to see. I do have questions. You said you saw christ? I don't believe in god.

OMFG please tell my you're joking. Cause Aaron certainly was :lol:

the sarcasm has been lost on him..... how sad

so you gave him his first chance, did that last comment count as his second? :P

but as long as we're arguing in a non-accomplishing way, I don't believe in god either! All you religous fogies have blinders on!

I was joking. OMFG. Do you think I was going to belive him? Please. I don't belive in God. I did, then I didn't, then I did, now I don't. :P :ph34r: :rolleyes:

Ok...good...Its just that I've seen some people think that people are serious when they do that.

I wasn't joking, I am a real vampire, really, I can fly and I have super powers and I can even shoot lightning bolts from my arse, honest...

Aye, and fireballs from yer eyes? Are ye seven foot tall? :lol:

Yes, I've heard! Kills men by the hundreds! And if he were here, he'd consume the English with fireballs from his eyes...and bolts of lightning from his arse! (laughter) I AM William Wallace!

So you claim. Wait...William Wallace is a vampire? Its a conspiracy I say!! :lol:

Not only am I William Wallace but I am indeed a vampire, not to mention that I started the phenomena known as disco.

Awww...a massive conspiracy and we aren't involved...WTF? Did we miss a memo or something?

It is in our hands now mason, step aside and let the pro's do their job.

Back off Man, this is our turf. We've been watching this site for over a year.

Who do you think controls the F.B.I. you silly little git.

You pompous oaf. You of all people, should know you only control the CIA, George Tenent is our God.

How interesting...IP addresses reveal many things, my friends...;)

Shh...don't tell anyone that I've been arguing with myself :lol:

Yaa it's pretty bad when we have to take on alternate personalities to entertain ourselves... :rolleyes: