Decadence: n. A process, condition, or period of deterioration or decline, as in morals or art; decay.

It is in this spirit that I have brought you here; in decadence. To fall.

This is a journal specifically for the restrained. I will start, you can continue. Instead of telling me what you did, --

Tell me what you -wanted- to do.

Be decadent.

Fall with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

07-13-08

Today I worked; as most of you know, I am a full time writer.

I also went to dinner with my neighbour, --an actual event, non-wishful thinking. Then I crawled under the table and in the middle of the restaurant, proceeded to deliver with the utmost elegance, fast and efficient fellatio. Afterwards, on our way home, we were pulled over. I pointed and laughed while the police ransacked his shitty car. I cheered when he was arrested for driving without a license for the third time. And I enjoyed my long walk home. The countryside is beautiful in the late summer evening. Then I came home and did four lines of cocaine off his brother's lower abdomen.

In front of his girlfriend.

After I satisfied every urge in my depraved and twisted mind, I came back home, watched Otis, --best movie ever, and then I went to bed early for the first time in a very long time. I slept like a dead angel. It was spectacular.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your turn.

12-07-08

I had a highschool reunion, years had passed since I saw any of those assholes. I wore a short black dress and high heels. I got there and I saw a guy I had a crush on ages ago.(non-fiction) He made small talk, but I couldn't keep my eyes off him, his slight beard, his strong back.

I danced in front of him rising my dress a little bit, biting my lips while looking at him. I noticed he went to the bathroom and waited until he came out. There's a sort of hall were the bathrooms are , I pretended to be waiting for the little girl's bathroom. Just as he passed me I ran my hand over his fly, he froze and turned around. I ignored him, he grabbed me by the hair with one hand and tore off my panties with the other while I unzipped him. He fucked me against the wall while moaning my name over and over until we came. I must point out the hallway was a bit dark and faced the rest of the bar, where people were getting drunk, some were dancing...I bet some of them even saw us. I never kissed him, even when he beged for it. We went back to the table and acted as if nothing had happened, I had to tell him my panties were kinda sticking out of his pocket though . My mom picked me up at 4 am. I got in the car in a cloud of alcohol and sex, my mom was pissed I could tell.

We got home, she started yelling at me I simply told her to fuck off, slamed the door on her face and went to sleep, trying to remember where I had left my left shoe.

07-15-08

I went home for my lunch break and met my wife there. [true]

When she was rinsing dishes in the sink, I came up behind her and reached under her T-shirt to her naked breasts. My hands squeezed them as I sucked on her neck. She dropped the plate and squirmed, pretending she wanted to get away.

"You're crazy," she whispered.

I looked at her like she didn't know the half of it. I dragged her outside to our deck and lifted her on the table. Our retired neighbor on the left was mowing his lawn. The old lady on the right was planting flowers in her garden. I lifted my wive's shirt over her head and threw it down. Her face turned red and her eyes widened as she tried to cover her large breasts. I grabbed her wrists and pinned her down on the table, climbing on top of her. My mouth sucked in as much of her breasts as it could, licking the nipples. She moaned and screamed and giggled.

I got up and pulled down her sweatpants along with her panties, exposing her wet clit. I licked and teased her sex as she writhed and pushed her pelvis to my face, grabbing and pushing my head into her, maoning and screaming. The lawnmower stopped. The old lady ran inside her home.

I undid my pants and pulled them and my underwear down. I climbed on top of her again and thrust my erection into her. She screamed again. I pulled her hair, squeezed her breasts, and bit into her shoulder as I thrusted faster and faster. She bit into my shoulder too as her nails dug into my buttcheeks. We both screamed in unison as we climaxed.

The rabbits, squirrles, and birds in the wild area behind our home hopped, ran, and flew away. The neighbor to our left still had one hand on his lawnmower. The other was on his heart. He struggled for breath.

I got off my wife and pulled up my underwear and pants. She lay there, naked and panting on top of the table, looking at me. I stretched my hand out to her.

"Come on. I'm still hungry."


<<END>>

07-15-08

A couple days ago I ordered dinner from my favorite nearby restaurant. I was low on cigarettes, so I told the delivery guy that if he picked me up a pack from the gas station up the street, I'd give him a five, plus the $4.50 tip. When he got back, he gave me my cigarettes, and asked to come in. Then he asked if he got "anything else". [All true.]

I stared at him and asked him if he wanted me to suck his dick for a pack of cigarettes.

He shrugged, and looked stupid for a moment. I told him to wait for just a second, and went into my bedroom for a moment. I slipped out of my clothes, and into a red and black lace teddy that I had bought a while back. Because I live alone, I keep a carving knife under a stack of books on my desk. I held it between my thighs and returned to the front room, taking tiny steps. I got down on my knees, slowly, carefully, and unzipped his fly with my teeth, and proceeded to give him exactly what he wanted. Just as he was about to orgasm, I spread my knees apart a little on the carpet, took my knife, and in about two well placed slices, cut off his dick like slicing through a cucumber. Only it wasn't nearly comparable in width. Then I stood up, stepped behind him, and began sawing off his head. It was a length process, and I switched knives halfway through. A bread knife's serrated edge cleanly cut through the gristle that connect his skull to his spinal cord.

Then I took him apart, piece by piece, and tucked him away in plastic bags, in my closet. I drove his car a few miles away, and pushed it into a lake, with all his shit in it. When I came back, I ate my dinner, which was getting cold. The I turned my oven up to broil, and cremated my visitor, over the last two days. There are a few pieces left. Including the first one I cut off.

I'm having that bit for dinner tonight.

15 - 07 - 08

It's his birthday today. I flew over to surprise him, broke into his room and waited for him under the covers...naked. He came home late, I was asleep. He got into bed and woke me up by shoving his cock inside me. We fucked until 3 am... My mom thinks I'm at the beach.

I think its funny the decadence you all focus on is sexual. I shall do violence ;)

Today was the day. I had woken up mid afternoon again and was no on hold with the place I wanted to work. On hold for 25 minutes. I wanted to hang up but for some reason I hadn't. Call it desperation. I sat staring at the desk waiting for someone to answer; there wasn't even cutesy hold music. No one ever did.

Later I went to the bank to try and clear some over draft charges. I walked inside the air conditioned building feeling the cold blast from the heat. I saw the row of tellers in clean suits, with their hair slicked back, and clean shaven. It made my stomach churn. I was quite the opposite: my hair somewhat messy in my eyes, and a beard which had grown in the past few days. When I approached the teller I could see the disgust in his eyes. I told him about the over drafts. It took all my money to clear them. The money I had made pulling toilets out of someone's house, moving furniture, and carrying twenty 100 pound bags of rocks. I glared at him for a moment as he deposited all the money and told me I now had zero dollars in my account. I sighed. I slowly removed my shirt exposing my only slightly chubby torso and to the two SMG's strapped to my sides. I calming raised them up, let my fingers rap deliciously around the triggers, and slowly began to pull them back. The bullets started exploding out. Below the lush sound of the two SMG's showering bullets into the roof I heard someone pleading. It made me sick: how could someone spend their last remaining minutes of life pleading like a coward. I turned, a man in an Armani suit held up a picture. A blonde haired woman holding two chidlren. "My - my family. Please, sp-spare me." His face swollen by tears. "I haven't even killed anyone yet how can I spare you?" He looked at me confused as did everyone else in the bank. I had now positioned myself in front of the only exit. People outside were filming the whole thing with their camera phones. "Stand up." I said to the Armani beggar. He began shakily rising to his feet. "Faster." He tried rising faster but his knees buckled and fell face first onto the cream carpet, crying uncontrollably. "Ugh, fucking aye." I said with disbelief and kicked him in the stomach so he would roll onto his back. He began to raise his arm and trembling in his hand was the picture of his family. "This means nothing to me, Armani." I fired a round through the picture which shredded, and the bullets popped his head like a bad zit. I beamed. It felt good. After that everything was in slow motion. I shot my way to the front of the line. I shot the old lady up and down as her limbs flayed and she flung her cane up in the air. I caught it. She hit the ground dead. Behind her was a surfer who was now cowering beneath the wave of his death. I put both SMG barrels against opposite sides of his head, both angled towards the floor. I pulled the trigger as more euphoria spilled down my spine. His heads was literally ripped in half. I let the smoking carcass slump down. Behind him was a slutty soccer mom in pink sweats. I shot her in the chest as her fake implanted breasts deflated like wet balloons.
I turned slowly and face the tellers. A large smile had now formed across my face. I shot the three tellers in long long spray of bullets that left them slumped over each other in a bloody pool. It felt good, it felt great.

The police had gathered outside to spoil my fun. Thankfully, I had planned ahead for such inconveniences. I reached into my pockets and pulled out two grenades. All I need. I gently set down the SMGs on top of Armani. I pulled the pin, opened the door, and flung it under one of the police cars. An explosion rocked the parking lot moments later as police and civilians alike were blown back by the police car exploding. The police were now rushing the door. I walked backwards, grabbed my SMGs and re-strapping on to my side so I could better wield my last grenade. The police bottle necked through the front door as planned. I pulled the pin from my last grenade and flung it into the crowd followed by a stream of bullets. I darted into a back office as I heard the lobby explode. I waited for a minute to listen for signs of life. Silence. I cooly stepped out of the back office and into the trashed lobby. The glass doors and windows had exploded out injuring and killing a few in the crowd of on lookers.
I walked out the front door but not before stopping at Mr. Armani and removing his wallet from his back pocket and his keys in his jacket pocket. I thumbed through his credit cards removed his license. I eased into his beamer and took of towards his house.
I now planned to fuck his wife at gun point.

Yeh maybe Ill add more to that later.

Im kind of in a shitty mood.

Toodles. :}

This is a true story,,,,short though it is, it's a rather vivid memory of mine that I treasure.
My man had just come home from work, all hot and bothered, and though we expected his dearest friend over very shortly, I grabbed him by the belt and started taking off his pants before he even managed to step into the living room from the kitchen, where the front door was located. (Studio above a garage situation). I gave him head until he couldn't stand up any more, then we rolled about on the floor in various positions until he was on top of me. And that's when his friend walked in. I simply motioned for him to come over to us and stick his dick into my man's sweet ass, which he did without a second thought.
I reached up and stroked his jewels with one hand, while working other lovely areas with the other. After a sweaty sexy workout punctuated by verbal exclamations of pleasure, we all came simultaneously, and I was happily crushed beneath two masculine bodies. And by the way, three-way kisses are awesome.

07-18-08

All my decadence is sexual. Violence does nothing for me.

I went to see the premier of The Dark Knight with my wife. [possible spoilers] 18+


Watching the film, the theater is dark, all eyes are on the screen. She leans towards me and says, "Keep watching."

The Batmobile chases after the Joker's truck, avoiding other cars. Explosions and crashes throw police cars in its way by . I feel her unzipping my pants. She reaches in and caresses my penis.

The Batmobile becomes stuck. It's trying to chase the truck out of the tunnel, its wheels spinning without effect. Her soft fingers pull my erection out of my boxers. The Batmobile ejects the Batcycle. The audience cheers.

Her tongue licks the tip, barely touching. My erection grows stronger. The Batcycle races out of the tunnel. Her mouth covers my member, taking it in deeper, until it reaches her throat. The Batcycle runs through an underground mall. Pedestrians dive out of its way. Her head rises and lowers faster and faster. Both my hands hold on to her hair.

The Batcycle faces the Joker's truck. She runs her tongue down my shaft to my testicles. The Batcycle and truck speed towards each other. She strokes my wet erection with her hand as her mouth sucks in my teticles and massages them with her tongue.

The Batcycle fires cables at the truck and turns at the last minute. She takes me into her mouth again while her hand continues to stroke. The Batcycle turns under the truck to the opposite side. Her mouth consumes my penis from the tip to the base and back again. The Batcycle turns faster and faster between streetlights on the sidewalk. Her head bobs on my lap faster and faster, her hand massaging my testicles.

The Batcycle turns and runs to the other side of the street, wrapping cable around a streetlamp. Her mouth and hand bring my erection to the point of release. My hands grip her hair harder. Her hand strokes my shaft as she sucks on the tip.

The Joker's truck flips over. The crowd erupts in elation. I erupt with them, releasing my juices into her mouth. She drinks, moaning. Only I can hear her, moaning and slurping. My juices keep pumping into her as I feel her throat contract, swallowing.

Her mouth releases me. She licks the tip again for good measure. The Joker climbs out of the truck. She gently puts my penis back into my boxers, then sits next to me. I lean to her and whisper, "This is the best movie ever."

21 - 07 08.


He kept on talking and talking...All I could say was"I don't love you."

31st August A.D. 2008

I haven't slept in seventy-two hours. The kitchen, though undoubtedly a foetid flytrap, disgorges an endless flow of thick, dark, lava-like stuff called coffee. Books tumble off the shelves and through my hands, pile up to either side of me, and tumble once again as they're drawn out to recover old ground, to back-reference, to cross-reference. Papers fill up with inelegant scrawl, the loops and scratches of handwriting only I can read with anything like efficiency.

Someone's small child is running around upstairs. Downstairs, two someones' frantic coupling has finally fallen silent. Sirens wail somewhere outside the open windows. There's a crash of glass and a curse. Rain pools on the windowsill.

I don't care. I'm working.

We're at the usual place.

When he's getting something out of his vehicle, I take his wallet off the dresser and take the cash and cards inside of it. By the time he realizes what's missing, he's an hour away and thousands of dollars poorer.

Meh, I guess while I'm at it I should probably also have figured out some way to make the vehicle explode or fail in some fatal way by the time he's miles and miles away from me.

03/10/09

I can't help it. He makes it so had to resist...and I don't want to put up a fight. Chances of meeting him increase by the week...I'm going to let him fuck me, as much and in every way he wants to do so.

Sunday, October 12, 4:00 am

All I can think of is how tired I am, and all that I wait for is him. I lean my head back, and he catches it with laced fingers, that quickly unknot themselves, and slide down to my nape. Two thumbs, parallel, stroke slowly, up and down the place where my hair ends in a last curling loop, darker against my dark skin. The palms of his hands move down my collar, and rise to the sides of my neck,then they knot again.

The knot tightens, and I can't breathe, --it's unnecessary at this point; what need have I for breath when Michael denies me? My lips grow cool, and blue, --purple perfectly understood without any veneer to hide their color. His lips are warm, and soft, and wonderful, and he steals more of me away with every minute contact. A vein throbs in my temple, and my eyes beginning to ache, as air becomes a thing of the past. The asphyxiation abyss claims me, but I go willingly, and die in the hands of my absent angel.