Over a while , I've had some time to focus and think up of more reasons to write. I think I've found a few good ideas for poems and have decided that I'm gonna post them up on the ol' forums. I know I haven't been active in a forever and a half , but I think I'm gonna post some more stuff and see if anyone takes some interest.

The first few poems are going to be a bit rusty , I haven't tried to write anything in a while , so you may as well just glance over them , but I do wish you would read them and give some constructive criticism.

You have to be wondering about the title , it's a bit long , I know. I'll break it down in two segments.

Omni- All,complete or ultimate.
Masochisinsm- The belief of masochisim against masochists.


Around you
-----------
Oh , no.
Can't trust you no more.
You're a liar , you're a whore.
You've broke the symbolic line.
Shattered my dreams for the last time.

Can't stand , can't stand , can't stand
To be around you.
Can't stand , can't stand , can't stand
To do what you ask.
You failed , you passed.
But I'm sick , we're through.

Woke up , without you on my mind.
What a feeling it is , uncontained.
I'm not prepared to die...
to cease your pain..
Now , I'm thinking of myself and nothing of you.

Can't stand , can't stand , can't stand
To be around you.
Can't stand , can't stand , can't stand
To do what you ask.
You failed , you passed.
But I'm sick , we're through.
Can't stand , can't stand , can't stand
To be around you.
Can't stand , can't stand , can't stand
To do what you ask.
You failed , you passed.
But I'm sick , we're through.
Can't stand , can't stand to be around you.
Can't stand to be around you.

My favorite line was this:



That was great. I loved how this one was written to, I havent seen anyone write like this. I'm not to fond of the repetition, though. BUT you did stay on topic, and not many can do that. Good job.

Now this , this is what I need. Good , constructive criticism , I thank you for your words , and your kindness. Any time someone gives me a good ol' smack of criticism , I always get inspired to keep going , so I will...I guess, Soon enough probably , just need time to get an idea.

Fantastic, I can't wait.

Daydream (Song)
----------
In all the time that you've been here......
I've waited.....
In all the time you've spent your time crying over me...
I've faded......
Like a daydream , I'll come and go...
Like a failure , I'll lower my head just to stop bloodflow...
I'll drop your dreams , porcelain as they are...
I'll rip you open , and break your heart...
Because I'm a daydream...
Coming just to go...
And when you forget about me , You'll never know---
I'm a daydream ,
Come to go..
Right from the start.
You never cared about me , that's why you broke my heart...

[Secondary vocalist>]( I'm a day dream , Come to go. I'll drop your dreams , porcelain as they are , I'll lower my head to stop blood flow ,rip you open , Just to break-your-heart...)
-Intermission-
Have you woken up to the real nightmare ?
Are you happy ? Are you scared ?
-End intermission-

[Secondary vocalist>]( I'm a day dream , Come to go. I'll drop your dreams , porcelain as they are , I'll lower my head to stop blood flow ,rip you open , Just to break-your-heart...) x3
Like a daydream , I'll come and go...
Like a failure , I'll lower my head just to stop bloodflow...
I'll drop your dreams , porcelain as they are...
I'll rip you open , and break your heart...
Because I'm a daydream...
Coming just to go...
And when you forget about me , You'll never know---
I'm a daydream ,
Come to go..
Right from the start.
You never cared about me , that's why you broke my heart...

You'll never know
----------------
Day one , No big fights,
We even made it through a single night ,
She says " You'll never know what this means to me ,
That you'd give up your job , and everything thing ,
Just for me , I can't believe..."
Day two , Had our first big fight ,
Thought she was going to stab me with that knife
And she says " You're a loser , you gave up everything for nothing
And your wasting your life on hopes and dreams...
You should just not believe...."
Day three , Not the best I've seen ,
She threw her stuff at me , and I slept on the couch tonight ,
Oh no , I screwed up again....And she says
"Go home , You weren't meant to be , I hope you find ,
I hope you see ,
That I never really loved you."
Day four , She slammed the door ,
In my face , lost her grace , time to find someone new,
Thought constrewed , never thought I would need to die,
Just to find , that I never really had....a...life...
And she says.."I wish , that you could understand ,
Things just didn't turned out the way I planned."
That's when I yelled " I hope they never do ,
I hate you for all I'm worth , for all I am."
That's when I heard her scream
" You'll never know what that means to me."

All very nice, full of angst. But a teeny bit too long for me.

love
raffy

A little more creativity is needed...
Be descriptive, and why are you counting in days?
It doesn't work as a metaphor either....
Use a longer time span for something like this, no one will jump on you if it doesn't ryhme or something. But its good, and I see you have potential, keep practicing.

Annimi

Thank Raf.
The poem is written in days because it shows how short the relationship was , If It was over centuries , it wouldn't have the same effect now would it ? I didn't mean for it to be metaphorical either , it's simply saying that the relationship fell apart in four days.....But otherwise , thanks for your comments , I'll take them to heart and apply them to my writing.

Corner angel
-------------------------------------
There's an angel , she stands outside,
Cars drive up , she takes a ride,
She comes back sooner or later,
But the guy who picked her up , didn't stay to pay her,
She's an angel to me , tears in her eyes ,
When she knows , her life is a lie...
She works from five to three ,
While some guy takes her money and smokes STD.
She has bruises sometimes ,
I ponder if it comes from the crackhead guy.

Angel , come to me,
I'll love you forever , set you free.
I got no hope , for any other girl.
The other day , the man with her drove up ,
She got in his car , and my thoughts disrupt ,
That was the day , my corner angel,
Went away.


YES , That was a poem about a dude obssessed with a hooker that worked on the corner across the street from him ! I can assure you , I'm not talking about myself ! It was just an idea that I hadn't ever heard a poem about.

I really love your work. I can't really explain why but wow I really love it.
Rose

Thanks very much , glad you like it , I'll try to post one of my better poems soon enough , I wish all my old work was still up , I never got a copy of those poems.

aww...Well I can't wait to read more.
Rose

Circus
--------
A blind black man , who don't know his name,
Some chick who nearly died in a plane ,
A monkey with a crack addiction,
Am I talkin' truth , or is this fiction ?
Only costs a dollar to see,
Even if admissions free...
You gotta pay , to see , the things , you wanna hear about,
Never thought you'd stop on a road just from hearing a lady shout,
"Noooo doubt...
Welcome to the circus.."


Short poem......I actually sort of like it.

I like this one too.
Rose

Gah , your insane then....Kidding ! Thanks rose , I thought it was pretty good , sort of an off the top of my head poem though.

wow *sits in awe* i love daydream!!!! i haven't read the rest of you art so i'll get back to you on the rest.
---------------
relax.. it's over, you belong to me; i fill your mouth with dirt; relax.. it's over, you can never leave; i take your second digit with me... love... -slipknot

That is when The best poetry is writen right off the top of your head.
Rose

Gah , Thanks -shrugs- Daydream is alright to me , It's hard as hell to sing and keep up with the pace....But thanks anyway , glad you stopped by and checked it out.

You're right rose.....amazingly...Kidding again ! .....about the amazingly part.

I found some of my old poems ! I wanted you guys to read them , They're from when I was just starting here.








What is beauty
--------------------
In a child's eyes
I see indigo hued skies
Soft scarlet forms
Shaped in the rains dorms
Torquoise oceans with gentle hints of white foam
Yet in all this beauty , I still feel alone.
I saw true beauty when I looked up and into heaven
I realized the cheribum guarding my life with his fiery weapon
The last little shred of beauty left in the creature
My eyes wandered his visage , getting every feature
And even when I called out the name I heard from him.
The lights in the background , they were still dim.

This is beauty , truth in beauty , the most desirable thing of all.
Like the sound of leaves crunching softly in the fall
Under the majestic Sky of unholy blue
Yet in the winter , I see all the roses die for you
Thus above me I see him there
I weep for you just to be contaired
I knew from the second I kissed your lips
It would finally come to beauty and all of this

And even in beauty
There can be some untrue
In faith , in love
I sing my beauty out and let it rise above
My cheribum , fire in his grasp
He slays the demons about me without a clasp
I can feel his smile upon me
And your hands at my sides , and all of the things.
In my last moments , I see him fade away
And what I see behind him , is true beauty today.


Under my grave
===========
Under my grave
I weep for you
Holding back screams
From the cold grasses' dew
Chilling my flesh
And making me weep
As I can hear you walking on the street
With a cell phone in hand
All the way by
My gravesite
Without a look or a care inside
I realise
That you aren't my real daugher
I found my death
Was nothing to you , Kyle , sarah and beth,
They came by
And wept at the side
Laying scarlet roses like a memory chime
But no , you were never there
Not for me , never weeping or mourning , you never cared.
And even when I scream from beyong the grave
All you're doing its talking with some guy named abe
And what happened to your dear old mom
She was left behind for a date with tom.
Now , if I had a choice to go back to that night
With your father in sight.
I would push him away.
Say " No not today"
And you would be gone
Dead in the womb
And even when it ends , still staying are the wounds
You left me behind
Under my grave
And now I cry
Weeping at the rotting coffins' sides
Because even when I thought you were there.
You had left me alone , like a daughter shouldn't , were you scared ?
I think not , so be brave
And speak to me...........
Under my grave.

Symphony of Blood
-------------------------
As the music drowns out the symphony comes through ,
bleeding crimson and weeping blue ,
The violins broken and piano burned ,
The chorus stands steady always firm.
I weep for you and my transgretions ,
I laugh over my emotions ,
The Symphony of Blood ,
my wrists slit and the crimson floods.
Through my veins my spirit flows ,
it reaches the wounds and my plasma glows,
You are here with me in the ballroom of broken kissess ,
and when the dance over my soul dismissess.

First time ever.
---------
I remember the first time you made love to me ,
It was nothing but a Love hate tradgedy.
Holding hands under the night's sky.
Kissed you twice and you cried.
Holdin' me close and begging me to love you forever !
It was our first time ever.

I remember the first time you kissed me ,
Virgin lips and everything !
Holdin' hands from class to class ,
You dumped me for looking at stacey's ass !
Best girlfriend in history,
And for the first time ever you think of me !

I remember the first time you held my hand.
After I played the guitar in my band.
Sweaty palms and a blush on my face.
That night I thought I was a disgrace.
It was my first time ever !


I remember the first time I heard your name.
I was caught in your game.
Lost in your eyes
And bleeding inside.
And now when I look through
I see that I loved you!
And that It was the bestime time in a forever,
'Cause it was the First time ever.


Angels cry over oneanother,
One has died over a brother,
Broken wings and a shattered heart,
He is left alone of heaven's arch.
Outcast angel , that's his name.
Holding in his hand a stem of wolfsbane.
His wings hued black from blood,
With his tears falling , Heaven will flood.
The angels weep as he walks away.
God turns his back on an angel today.
The world becomes cold.
And criminals become bold.
God's distracted by his own anger.
Now when the world's in danger,
God ain't there.
"Are you scared ?"
The angel asked them all.
As he fell from the arch and crawled.
He landed in the water.
His wings washed away as he spoke--
"Forgive me Father."
Outcast angel brought to his own demise.
From one little thought , in his windswept eyes.

I really like The Circus, its good, has some dark wisdom behind it. I cannot say well-written unfortunately, about the whole thing, but the last few lines were outstanding. Keep going...
Annimi

I like the many different styles that you play with. Keep it up!

I try to support as many styles of poetry and song as possible , It's hard to go from a morbid song , to a love song , but I've tried to get used to it , I think I'm getting better as I go , hopefully I can start blurting out solid gold , Like my old Poem " False sacrafice" That was one of my best story like poems , But thanks Tindal , and I'm Glad you liked those few lines annimi.

Cost
-----
Everything has a cost...
To get something , something must be lost,
When one goes to the grave ,
Another life is born,
So that every soul may be saved,
Even those
whose soul
is a thorn,
In the side of their creator.

When my mother was taken from me,
Another kid destined to be a crackhead , hyped up on VCD,
Stuck in the backways , trying to cut himself with a car key,
Didn't think he would sell his car for an addiction , Everything has a fee.

I've paid the price,
Watched people take their life , not once , Twice.
I know the pain
It takes to play the game.

A house without a father,
Momma works two jobs just to get water.
The Kids ask her why she's never home,
She's tells them " Because your daddy left me alone."
She paid the cost,
She gave him up , but in the end she only lost.

This is the cost , many have paid,
Some give money , just to get laid,
Wasting out all the hopes of youth,
And when you look back , you'll pay the cost,
Mark the independent on the ballot in the booth,
Keep the ones that are lost to be lost....
This is the cost.

again your art is good. i have trouble going from a morbid song to a love song too. i hate all my love songs or poems cuz i can't really get out what i really want to say and feel. but i really like yours.

Practice....always practice...I know it's probably annoying , but trust me , It REALLY works , Some good practice and you can write whatever , I still need practice though. x.x

*sit on the edge of seat* i can't wait for more of your art.

You have some wonderful work here.
I love this one...so very beautiful...
You have enormous talent, in my humble opinion.
I do hope to read more soon.
Great work!

Peace,
MourningAngel...
:ph34r:

Faith-filled Soldier
-------------------
A soldier that never looses composure,
Even if he's faced with the weight of the world on his shoulders,
When the weight of his weapon feels like the bullets are boulders,
" I'll stay, stand , and fight.." That's what he told her.

Faith-filled soldier , stay,stand and fight
He'll kill a man , if he knows it right.
Don't stand in his way , you'll be the next apocolyte (Victim)
He'll fight the enemy , until he sees the holy light...
Faith-filled soldier.

This is wonderful..I really like it.
'Faith-filled Soldier'...
Such deep meaning in very few lines.
I envy that.
Great work!

Peace,
Mourning...
:ph34r:

I can thoroughly promise you that hits home to me , I truly enjoyed writing that poem , though short , I feel I got my point across , I think I may jot a quick one down in this message if I feel like it.---Yup I do.

Back in the day (Song)
-----------------------
Back in the day--
What they say,
Wasn't what life was about,
More like what the preacher would shout.
In the afternoon service.
I'm not exactly how to word this,
But,

Back in the day,
What you said , wasn't what you meant to say,
When you could just walk away,
Don't gotta be no man today...

Back in the day--
What they say,
Wasn't what life was about,
More like what the preacher would shout.
(No doubt) Would'a thought I would pout,
Gotta go through a droubt, (God damnit)
Had to drink more milk,
Cause they said we were dark.
Thought something white in us was reflect our feelings toward them.

Here's a sort of screamo song I wrote

Closer to the light
------------------
(Not in screamo.)
It's 4:51 AM ,
The clock is silent as I think of you again,
My eyes ,they burn.
My fingers have locked up for hours now..
I can't express the feeling I have for you...
( Back draft , muffled screamo from backup singer)
[ I've found the pain , that you caused for me , the tears you cried for me , the life you left for me , and what was it for ? Nothing.] x8
I've found a need in my life,
But this need , is a heroine.
A destruction of soul,
That can bring me from complete ,
To unwhole....
I've found the pain , that you caused for me , the tears you cried for me , the life you left for me , and what was it for ? Nothing ( That part is synchronized with the back up , then the backup sings it some more.)

You left what was right ,
Brought up a life,
Impure....
Let out the blood.
Released the cleansing flood,
Even The lamb could not save me from this,
( "This" at the end of that line echoes five times before the screamo finally kicks in.)

Cause In the darkness,
I've come closer to the light !
I've left you behind ,
To continue my war !
I've dropped you like luggage,
Just to head on out amongst the crowd !

I've found the pain , that you caused for me , the tears you cried for me , the life you left for me , and what was it for ? Nothing I've found the pain , that you caused for me , the tears you cried for me , the life you left for me , and what was it for ? Nothing

(Final screamo part ,REALLY REALLY loud between the second singer and first)
Nothing!!!

( Then it repeats through it again with the secondary vocalist singing quiet while the drummer plays marching snare.)

wow that was really good!!! very entertaining!!! can't wait for more

deadly

more please

deadly