How important is it to you that your mate shares your religious/spiritual views?

If you were/are single, and looking for a partner, how much emphasis would you put on their beliefs? Have you been in a relationship with someone of a different faith, and if so, how did that work out?

It used to be extremely important to me. Now, however, I'm faced with the question of having fallen head over heels in love with someone who simply does not share my views at all. I believe in God, and Jesus, and about a third of the nine yards.....and he does not even think that God exists.

It's frightening to me, however, I will not give up the shot of what I have with him in the here and now because of something that will happen when we are both dead.

I've also been forced to examine the questions...what if he is right? Along the same lines, it serves to reinforce my own beliefs, because I've examined those questions and come up with suitable answers for myself, and it has taught me more about my own beliefs and views.

As long as they're not a nutt it's ok.

I am guessing you are talking about someone meant to be "close", not just someone you hardly know but sexually?

Anything that is "constructive" to me would be good and positive. Generally that would be things like being able to help each other with spiritual problems and the like as well as doing things together. Even if they were radically of a different belief system, if they interacted with me on spiritual matters in a positive way where I found it "expanding" I would consider this to be costructive too. I don't think this is necessary and wouldn't run from someone because of a lack of this, but it would again be very positive to me.

But if there was anything at all that was "destructive" -- they insist I convert to their beliefs or otherwise try to deny me my freedom of spirituality or belief -- then that would be enough for me to run from them. But I don't believe it would be impossible for me to be very close to a fundamentalist christian or whatever, as long as they didn't mess with the above and I didn't feel like I had to hide from them or that I am being asked/forced to betray myself in any way.

Yes, I've been there - no it didn't work out. They were very religious and their family very much more so. For a few years before breaking with them there was the pressure to marry and convert (so that they could be married within their church). I went along with it largely at first, but always balked at the part where you had to make an oath to do certain things which I didn't feel I could agree to even then. The religious/spiritual differences don't seem to be the real problem though. From what I have learned from it personally I think a lot of the problem is communication and being able to compromise and work through things together.

It's not really important that we share our views on life or spirituality. As long as we can communictae openly and understand the boundries of each other that is truely all that matters.

I have been in relationships with those who do not share my views. They may not understand why I do things in certain ways or think and react as I do, but they have pretty much accepted it as simply a part of who I am.