A blank nothing,
A harsh sound,
A hallow feeling,
Like there is nothing around,

Keep that look of peace on your face,
Soon it will all be clear,
That those memories that you couldn't erase,
You now know are derived from fear,

A faint feeling of weightlessness,
Covered by screams,
No longer feeling restless,
From all those insecure dreams,

Watch as the lips turn blue and the eyes glaze over,
The hair slowly falls away,
And the putrid smell seems to hover,
As the skin turns from white to decay,

They finally look and see,
The once beautiful body, now covered in dirt and leaves,
No name, no face, no identity,
Left there for no one to see

The Conversation

Again she sits,
Knife in hand,

"Where this time?",
"Maybe her foot?,
No real use for it,
Its a part of her so it means nothing.",
"No, no, that was last time.",
"Well perhaps the ear?,
It's as pointless as her foot.",
"No, no, that wouldn't be a self-inflicted wound.",
"Well then the stomach?
It hurts anyways.",
"No, no, can't take the chance of hurting the baby.",
"How about her legs,
She doesn't use them much any ways.",
"No, no, she will need a leg to stand on.",
"Her eyes then,
She has such pretty eyes.",
"Yes! I feel like destroying something beautiful.",

She brings the knife to her right eye,
Slits it open,
Part of her is dead now,
At this pace, soon all of her, and she will be buried.

A happy abundance of pain,
A glimmer of self amusement,
Thoughts of a wonderful past existence,
And a radiance that could only come from death,
Eyes wander in the soulless beginnings,
A heart made of stone,
Black and desperate are the feelings that are adjacent,
Self destruct is all that seems right,
Push that little red button,
The one that seems to do nothing more than draw attention to it,
The purpose only being temptation,
Watch the world burn and fade away,
As you laugh and say that you will once again live,
You are invincible, strong,
No one can hold your heart or hand,
You are your own let no lesser feeling of love corrupt you,
You need not the feeling of longing or desire,
You are a lone shadow and that is your destiny,
No love, no life, no emotion of any kind,
But what happens when your path changes?,
Do you remain stubborn and refuse to yield?,
Or will that path of happiness finally tempt you?,
With love, light, a family and a future,
Those were questions I had always wondered,
Now I know.

January 27th 1999

Memory of the day,
When all innosense was ripped from my soul,
Poured into a vial kept in a frozen heart,
In hopes of preserving it for someone else,
The day still fresh in my mind,
All the hurt and anger flooded with tears,
Strength fading as I walk her through the door,
Completely losing it once she is out of sight,
Cold steel on the side of my face warmed by hot tears,
A being with mulitple arms saying "Take her there!",
Placing me on a cotton cloud chair,
Looking through a blurried at the one who was sent to help,
Seeing the crowd of angry faces turn soft at the vision of a weeping angel,
She stepped in and took her place next to me,
Forcing my strength back into my body...for her,
A shuddering angel dripping wet with tears,
Clutching to me as if I was next,
The angel left my side to return to her heavenly home,
Composure followed her,
Another being with many arms,
Pulled me away from my cloud and placed me in a blue box with steel chairs,
Buzzing and whirring all around me,
Petrified I begin to rock,
Surrounded by a fading cold,
And then replaced with the warmth and caring of a unfamilar soul,
As she embraces me I begin to see the plan of life,
I then at that moment realize why the vial was placed in my unyeilding frozen heart,
So I may give it to the next in line,
And they may feel what was ripped from me so violently,
And still noththing could take away,
The memory of the day.

Pain is unavoidable,
Repression is necessary,
To erase all the damage done prior,
But is it really gone?,
Or is it stored away in another one of your files?,
Do you need a stimulant to acess that pain?,
Or is it something better left untouched?,
Aviod the past and regret the future,
Or pay heed to the past and accept your fate,
A lesson learned and a lesson taught,
A battle begun but never fought,
Pain comes with the territory,
Choose your path.