Ok so i started this new thread becuase I thought that the old one (which by th way is not that old) is fucked up. WEll I'm going to write two of my favorite poems here and then I'll start off once again. . . :devilflip:


My deadly Kiss

Something inside me walks around death valley.
A spirit haunting the dead soul inside me.
I hear whipers telling me to run away,
But the ropes tied to my feet force me to stay.

You nailed my hands to my final cross.
All the dreams in me have been lost.
I close slowly my blood covered eyes
To see my long lasting desires fly.

I hear Thunders from far away
The memories inside don't ever escape.
You are afraid to take my life,
And yet the desire wants to come out of your eyes.

I question myself. . .

Should I cut the ropes and brake free
And uncover secrets kept inside me?
The game of life is hard to play,
And child we have lost it anyway.

You are a beatiful creature. . .
Beautiful eyes and features.
But like all of us you are blind.
Love you can not ever find.

Come with me my horrible beautiful death.
With your kiss will I end my last breath.
But with this kiss I will end your suffering,
After my kiss you will see yourself wondering. . . . .

You. . . Death. . . . You have died away. . . .

Blood slips from my frozen purlpe lips,
I sip Death's immortality like a hungry beast.
Oh beautiful Dead Rose,
I ended your life in a unrresting pose.

I wonder death valley
Haunting the ancient soul inside me
I whisper to you to run away
But the ropes tied to your feet force you to stay. . . . .


Winter. . .

Silver peaks lighted by the frozen moon.
Seems like the sun has died to soon.
Angels slumber in the frozen sky
After this again I will see your eyes.

The waves do not dance today.
In the sleeping snow I will lay
Moon of winter has been finally born
The sun has been killed with rose's thorns.

And as the violin is being played,
Your voice cannot longer fade.
White as snow wolves run towards me
The war has just begun, fate will not let it be.

A war that seems to be endless
A newborn between the war, defenseless.
Sweet bell sounds in the night to soothe the pain
So that the newborn's tears do not cause rain.

New moon starting to write a new story ,
Of a battle won by death without glory.
And as the angels gently awake
Death with a kiss their lives will take

And the moon starts crying silver tears
Finally they've awaken, her unwanted fears.
Finally soaked in total confusion
Wishing that today was just an illusion. . .

Demons and darkness taking over,
Winter moon tonight death will be your lover.
Angels nor sun dance Today,
Weakened by cold in the snow I will lay. . . .

I have two more that I forgot about

Fallen angel

You're like a fallen angel,
Beautiful yet by the devil taken.
Silver light in your heart,
Annoying darkness in your eyes.

Born from dust of stars and blood,
put in a mother's womb,
killed her from the inside,
Sacrificed her for your own life.

You're like a fallen angel,
Let your acts be forsaken.
Tears of blood you give us all,
Oh child of the great dark hole.

You enjoy pain and suffering
Son of beautiful death
and prince of everlasting hell.

You're like a fallen angel
Let your acts be forsaken.
Beautiful yet by the devil taken. . .

Tears that cannot be controlled

I fall to the ground from the highest star,
Toxic rain soaks me to death.
I hear your annoying voice from afar,
I wish today would I waste my last breath.

But, somehow fate does not let it be,
Not a choice to run away.
I try to open my eyes, and still I cannot see,
Not a grave where I can lay.

I look at my reflection in a puddle of rain.
From my eyes a river of black tears.
And not even the tears can get rid of the pain,
Nothing inside me but fears.

I try to stop the memory flash
But the tears cannot be controlled
This is where my hatred and disappointment clash.
This is where my story is unfold.

I rapidly faint away,
ending the battle against you.
On the soaked muddy ground I lay.
With sour tears and feelings too.

It has ended. . . the cry of rain
The deadly gray sky clears.
I will never again feel sane.
With these uncontrollable tears. . .

Wait I found another one not so good but stiil there's something about it that sort of projects my feelings towards my dad

Fatal Liberty

Everything falls behind me.
And your eyes blind me.
And your fate lets it be.

And time goes by
And I find out the truth.
My mind does lie,
But my heart cannot stop the story.

You are the one who changed
But is it fair enough?
I am the one who is chained.
No . . . .I am not your prisoner anymore!

I run away from you everyday
But at the end I come to you
You think I don't have any value.

You erase my existance
You erase my pride,
And time does fly by
because I've been marching
Like wolves next to the moon.
I've been walking this road
Tearing myself apart and ALONE.

Keep running away from me,
no matter how fast,
We'll meet again
at the end of this road.
And give up now 'cause this is fate
don't run anymore before it's too late.

Because tomorrow
You read what you've done.
And everything you said to me
Has been blowned away by the wind. . .

My heart broken and darkened by tears,
Tainted by uncountable blood.
And my mind still fighting something,
Something that controls me. . .
And I dance to that melody, a fatal liberty.

Someone better reply to this *cries*

I got a new sick sort of poem :

Devil's Child's Nest

I created this hell, I created it alone.
I only carelessly did it for fun.
Wanted to show you a sample of who I am.
But when you saw it, you freaked and away you ran.

Little beautiful and horrible child of mine
Where else could you be but in my mind?
A child who's toys are but blades and not dolls.
Witchcraft, room filled with different hair rolls.

What child, are you going to do today?
Oh mother, today with your guts I will play.
Don't touch me you untamable Beast!
Oh mother today on your blood I will feast.

Oh child please! Not today will you give me my tomb!
Oh but mother. . . It was today that I got out of your womb.
You full thorned rose with eyes like red evil pebbles!
Well mother I am the daughter of the most handsome devil!

Oh rich rose red, blood with a slight of dark, how I love to slaughter.
Feel your hands father, caressing the compounds of your daughter.
This is our bond, I'll give you uncountable treasures,
And you father, you will produce my pleasures.

Princess of the underworld
Now your dreams unfold.
How beatiful to be faithless
In your eyes world's suffering is painless

I created this hell, I created it alone.
I only carelessly did it for fun.
Wanted to show you a sample of who I am.
But when you saw it, you freaked and away you ran

........{reply}..............
feel better? :rolleyes: :lol:

way better thanx! lol

aah being grace'd by your words once more is heart warming.. but i fear that with three in counting your threads now are, that frowned upon it is.. you are to have but one thread and no more.. so my advice is.. edit your posts.. don't trash the whole thread...

I don't think this is a poem its more like a thought really. . .

I fall to my knees, bathed by cold night light. Nothing is there . . . when I look towards the sky. We walk bare-foot over sharp shattered glass on this furious road called life. And faith I do not have and my wings, with your lies you ripped apart. Nothing good comes out of being with you, and now, it is here where my motionless body rests, where my soul will part from you. I run next to the moon towards something called end, something that might not exist, something that I, alone will create. What am I destined to be? But a skeleton still crucified in your cross or something that did not exist. It is hard to escape from you, but life keeps pulling me to you, and you will just let it be.

I'm frozen ripped, apart from reality nothing is the same anymore after "they" Oh loathsome demons! changed the way you were. You used to be my oasis and now you're my unwanted but needed hell.

I loved the last story you wrote.. simply astounding and Devil's Child's Nest was a tale after my own heart... so evilly sweet *sighs* good job as always

very nice ^_^

Wohoo more poems, some of them are abouot love. . . What? Yes I know, I'm not really like this but someone stole my heart a long time ago and I'm still looking for it. . . .

Mix memories inside my mind,
But it's all starting to make sense,
You were never there,
You were never real. . .

Time keeps flowing
And the moon keeps marching
And yet I can't seem to move,
The wind is whispering secrets,
But I still can't feel my real self.

I look at the sky,
And I can't see anything,
Except for a hidious reflection of myself.
And then the stars ask me. . .
Who are you?

And I respond: "Who am I?".
I've lost the answer somewhere in space,
I just remember when you were with me,
How we used to laugh at fate,
How we used to think about destiny,
How we didn't believe in any of it. . .

Where are you?
You pushed me to see,
How life really was,
But now is hard to believe,
That the darkness inside me,
is real. . .

Who were you?
The person that I always wanted to be.
Yes, you were the other me.
My shadow, living in a fantasy world,
where the truth is never haunting,
And where it is never worth crying,
Over dreadful words.

Death, a painful truth, yes.
But being without you. . .
Is worst.

I'm living in darkness. . .
Sometimes,
I am darkness itself,
But can you blame me?

The wind embraces me,
with a melody,
Hugs me tight into the night,
Yet inside me I still do not feel comfort
For I haven't found the true light.

Where are you? Who are you?
Were you for real?. . .
Or just a simple dream.
You weren't real, I know.

Mix memories inside my mind,
But it's all starting to make sense to me,
You were never there,
You were never real. . .

You were me, and I was you. . .
Does it make sense to you?
Take all the pain through my heart,
Make the pain atleast,
Real this time. . .

Good Bye, My love.

For Danniel
I hope you still think about me. . .
As I think about you, night and day.
My dear deadly ghost.




Let time stop


Let time stop
Let the seconds stay
And for that let the days
Go away. . . .

Let the years flow
Like the rivers
Let the months have wings
To fly away. . . . .

Let the nights stay
So that the moon can rule
The sky;
And let a bath of stars
Wash away the tears
From our eyes. . . . .

Let the night wrap us
tight;
Let the sea hear
Its melody,
Let us the night keep
And,
Let us the time free. . . .

We hear the angels’ violins
And the stars’ bells
We hear them in our hearts
But never in our mind

Take my broken heart
Oh, beloved moon
Take it and
Make it
Yours

Thy melody soothes the
Pain of my heart
Thou dance and I
Sigh,
Sigh a sigh of love.

You make me feel
so so unreal;
Sunken and frozen
in a beautiful dream. . . .

When the clouds run
When the stars stop dancing
and when the sea stops singing
And when the night is not no more

That’s when time will stop
that’s when love will die
that’s when I will be gone
That’s when time stops. . . . . . .

This one does not have a title ok but no matter. . .

You took my pride away.
Light that passes by and never stays.
My fears I fear I cannot face.
Life is short and an unending race.

No one understands my insides
A demon in my shattered heart resides.
Close the door so no light can come in
But a glimse that reminds me of my sin.

Memories keep me from living and dying.
But you have gone away, and my dreams stopped flying.
Take me away oh pain soothing death
For in me only one painful breath is left.

Crying out for help never works.
A monster inside me always lurks.
Looking for a foolish soul to come near
Looking for something again and agin for me to fear.

(is not that good I know. . . just something to post here)

No inspiration

Time seems to not move at all
The echoes of your voice move slow
Through my dying heart.
But life seems to move on,
Even if time is tired.

Tears slide through my veins
And my blood seems to have disappeared
Night is something that never ends
Even if day light tries to conquer it.
Locked in my heart, a cry to be sent.

Screams of hatred and pain
Bound to not ever end
Even if my body disappears
Like dust blown by the wind.
The pain, it will always remain.

I just did this one like 15 mins ago.
Not to good no rhyming or structure but what it says has value to me.

Nothing stops even if you're not here
Nothing changes except but my love for you to pain.
Come back to me please.
My bed misses you and I cannot change it.
Time is so cruel she took you away from me.
Curse you Death! A scream of sorrow, you took her away.

After she died the sky does not stop crying
Even if the sun is still there, the sky is gray.
Moon is but residing in her cloud mourning,
Missing her gentle voice and melodies.
My body does not know what to do,
falls to its knees and lays on the wet ground next to her grave.

Nothing is the same come back to me. . .
My bed misses you, come back to me. . .
My body does not know what to do,
But lay next to your grave.
The moon mourns everyday, and,
The sky's color and beauty is no longer the same.

Come back to me, if not. . . .
Should I lay next to you forever?
I will look for you in hell and heaven.
My mind is corrupted by our memories.
And my body devastated by your ghostly touch.
Should I lay next to you forever?

Nothing is the same come back to me. . .
My bed misses you, come back to me. . .
My body does not know what to do,
But lay next to your grave.
The moon mourns everyday, and,
The sky's color and beauty is no longer the same.

Take away this haunting pain
Without your annoyence is not the same.
Come with me to my resting grave
For we from death do not escape.

I hate the way we look at each other.
And yet i cannot live without you, deadly lover.
Blood and wine and human flesh to dine
Dear Death to us she binds.

The love that we share
Seems to go nowhere.
It looks like I lost my light
For I toss and turn at night.

But I try to escape,
Somehow I got to run away.
Somehow I'm tied to your kiss
And we both fall to our abyss.

A little metal rock can do me good
Makes me feel like i want you as food.
Never tasted your blood
After this you will never again be my rosebud

You're but a distraction from reality.
Now I come to you to make you see clarity.
Nothing that you do will stop me from killing your prescense
Finally I can smell sweet death's escense. . .

you beautiful bitch I'm finally getting rid of the pain you give me.
Now let me steal your life and let it be. Oh but loving painful destiny.

very nice!!!!

I really really really like this one!
I am just too excited...but I loved it.

Hello!! New face cool! Who are you? Thanks but i'm way last right now I suck a little but hey i'm trying, not my best because I don't feel like it, but you know. . . thanks callisto
~~ DeadlyReaper~~

thanks don't get too excited or you might piss :lol: Thank you very much. I'm, going back to my coffin now. . .

oh lord...hehe

keep looking at my works when i get new ones. . . not yet though, hey! you're cool!! I can sense it. . . *brrrrr* Tingly anyways Bye

Ahem. You post faster than I can reply, my dear. I read "My Deadly Kiss" and "Winter" and was surprised. Usually beginners don't sound like that, which leads me to believe that you aren't a beginner, but a talented poet who has been writing for years. You write with captivating detail, making the poems lovely with a distinct voice. But then I read "Fallen Angel" and you gave me another shock.

Okay... I didn't read the rest of them, I admit. I'm sorry, beautiful poet, I don't have the time right now. But "Deadly Kiss" was wonderful. It's a difficult choice to make, stay and suffer, or leave and let your memories fly free? It's hard to let people in, but it's harder to keep them out and suffer and feel trapped and lost.

"Winter" was full of hopelessness and yet some powerful longing. It was another great poem, intricately laced with detail and emotion.

"Fallen Angel" swept me away. You can write with various styles, and that is amazing. This one poured emotion into me, and that's the sign of a great writer. Beauty does not define what lays on the inside. Beauty is just the shell on the outside, hiding the evil that lays within. It's a wonderful poem. I'm impressed by your work.

your poerty is very lovely hope to see more

*drowns in the flowing tide of poetry*

. . . I'm blushing. . . Tehehehe. . . Thank you very much you are one of the greatest writers here I think and I sincerely value your comment and appreciate that you took a piece of your valuable time to write it. Thank you.

Tonight my soul is Bleeding

Tonight my soul is bleeding
Death why are you leaving?
Take me with you, soothe my pain.
Soak me with mercy just like the rain.

If you look inside me don't be afraid.
For destiny's cards have already been played.
It was not my fault, my soul was ripped apart.
The moon has stolen my shattered heart.

Maybe someday my heart will come back to me.
Maybe someday you will finally see. . .
Not everything is true but not everything are lies.
I love you without a heart, please, open your eyes.

Tonight my soul is bleeding
Tonight my heart she's seeking.
In your depths he's hiding
Tonight my body is dying. . . . .

oh by the way im not trying to rhyme. . . so it might sound like im rhyming and sometimes it might not. . . so LEAVE ME ALONE lol
no please give me your opinions and suggestions

oh my god. i read this and i almost choked on my toast. greatest writers here? My dear, what i was trying to say was that YOU are. and trust me, there are a ton of more talented writers here. oh dear. i feel like a fraud when you say that. you're a sweetie. it's surprising that such a sweet, happy-sounding person could pour out such sorrowful poems.

"Tonight My Soul Is Bleeding" is one of those. You are so wonderful, and yet you're in so much pain. Please, don't let Death take you, don't let Death be the one to soothe that pain. Life can be cruel, but at least you're alive, and you're with ones that care.

^_^ I think that you are and no matter what I will still think that way, hahaha I'm not as great as you think and not really wonderful, but I know talent when i see it and i know you are very great. . . . . . . . . My story has not yet been written in this site, not yet, when i finally do you will see, why so much pain inside me recides.

In every heart there's a place where pain thrives.
You cannot get rid of it even if you try.
Because nothing is rose perfect, this is how life is.
We are born with it, in our hearts there's a hidden abyss.
Sometimes it takes over you, sometimes it is cover by lies
A fake smile of mines covers a big abyss. Time flies. . .
And one day that abyss can no loner be covered
And you find out you have more to suffer.
This is the reality, not many want to admitt it
But inside they know it is there, and insanity feeds it.
That's why this world is how it is, so messed up
That's why at some point we fall from the top.
And into the our own abyss we fall. . .
Thanksto the pain and memories inside. . . .

I want new people to reply to my poems i see like 113 people have seen this thread and no one says anything!!!! grrrr!!! I want suggestions, i want critics, grrrr!! :meow:

i love this poem!!!! i mean all ur other ones are sooooo wonderful also... but its just something about this one... :) i especially love the last paragraph.

Finally. . . lol Thank you very much this oone is one of my favorites also. . . Thank you

i like it, it gets to the point and it is very true ^_^

I cried you a River


You know I cried for you tonight
it is not fair that today you will leave.
But it's ok beautiful raven I will let you take flight. . .
For in our gothic love I believe.

Would you come back? I do not know.
You disappear in the silver moon's cloud
I can only hear your whispers in the air flow.
And love words that I cannot hear too loud.

You're fading away my love
You're the dark angel in my dreams
Tonight you killed the virgin dove
Tonight in my heart dark living beams.

Dear raven I cried you a river
Why did you not let our dreams be?
My tears in melancholy's puddle so silver
For this Raven, you will cry me a silver bright sea.

Come back to me my love.
Sometimes in my nightmares you appear
And I don't want to end them, so i end them slow
Tonight your kiss I will finally fear. . .

Tonight you will lay me in my grave
And kiss the gray tombstone,
And next to me today you will lay
And then my ghost in your heart will roam.

Cry Me a River is so gorgeous.. i wish that i could write something like that.... but unfortunately i cannot... for some reasons my poems about love never turn out all that well...

the last one and..my deadly kiss..was great!
i dont see what the prob is.
i always think..of how others will think
or share on what u are writing about.
or like how would u describe your pain?
in colors?other feelings?into creatures..acts?
like if i say...mmm..
'I hurt like never before as i lay dead on my bedroom floor.'
if i was to make it more colorfull or better how would i do it?
'I hurt like never before,like darkness taking my life into hell,
as i bleed colors of red in the drains of black holes of lonelyness
into my bedroom floor."
u know...i just mix things that sound good togeather..
like pain..like blood..red..sweet..salty..thick..like silvery knives..
or broken mirriors...'mirriors'reflect...they reflect you or anything
about ya..like memories..the past..your pain..your sadness,madness.
lonelyness!
how does that feel to you?
like dark voids or hellish winter?
like cages gone to the bottom the the dead sea?
how does it make u feel make you see?
...there..some info u might like to inspire ya.
like ...right now how are ya feelin?

wow you are gooooood. . . . .

Let's see I'm going to try too. . .

I feel imprisoned in my own abyss
As if in this life something I missed
Love, friends, gentleness, or maybe a kiss. . .
Maybe I regret that day when I didn't fully cut my wrist.
Or maybe I didn't see someone's pain as my own
Or maybe I didn't listen to someone's wise words
Maybe it is that I feel sad and alone
Maybe is that I always here a melody from's death's vocal cords.
Or maybe. . . I'm afraid to look at myself in the mirror
Or maybe. . . I wish the truth and light in me could be clearer

Well not that good as you. . . but I tried. . . .

no no..thaat was awsome!! u are very good
at paying attention! nicely done!BRAVO!!
*smiles warmly*
aand u deserve a big shiney rose sticker for that one!
*sticks sticker on poem*
me dragon proud of you!

all ur writings are excellent. your talent really shows

o.O im borehed i need sum advice on what my new thingy shuld b
okies what kinda thing shuld be
1=poem
2=story
and what kinda thing is it based on
1=horror
2=death
3=love
4=happiness ( im not god @ those)

First of all, dearie, I felt the same way you do when I first came here. I was so impatient, moreso than you are, and I kept spamming up my thread with pleas to people to post what they thought.

You will have people flooding this thread with compliments, trust me. I know talent when I see it.

And as for the "critic" part... I don't critique people's works, and you don't need it, sweetie.

The closest I can come to being a critic is to give you advice: Write what you feel. Whenever you're very happy or pissed off or sad, turn to writing. Find something to write with and just write. Don't edit, don't scratch out, don't correct. Just write. Write until you have nothing left to say, and then look at what you've written. It doesn't matter if it rhymes or flows, post it anyway.

Those are the pieces people like best, because they come from the heart.

Now... If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'll be here. My AIM is Soulless Faery my YIM is darkfaerness and my e-mail is darch_faery@netzero.net

I love the poem that begins: "In every heart there's a place where pain thrives." That's so true. Everyone hurts, and no matter what, you can't erase the fact that you hurt. You have to work through it, that's the only way. Time can dull pain, but to make it go away you have to make a concious effort to heal. There's no reason for things that happen. They just happen. Bad things happen and you can't go looking for a reason because you'll find nothing there. Memories are pain sometimes, doll. That's just it. You have them there whether you want them or not. Your past doesn't go away. Dealing with it is the only way to make it hurt les...

"I Cried You A River" was another beautiful poem, but it was so bitter and sad and hopeless. Dearie, I know it hurts. It hurts to lose someone, but it hurts to have someone too. Don't depend on others, you have yourself, let others in, but don't depend on them, because they won't always be there.

i try to do the same thing when i write, add imagery and meaning to your words.. like she said snow and blood covers the snow as the small girl lay, wrapped in the arms of her mother slain... sounds WAY different from the first doesn't it.. if you give others a picture to link to your words usually they can form it within their mind, allowing them to better understand and feel your words.. blackdragon is quite an experienced writer so it doesn't suprise me that great wisdom would be easy to find in her words..

You wanted critisism because you felt your poems weren't good enough ((all just dramatisization i know)) and this is how we can help.. read others poetry and learn from them and as you have done.. take heed when someone tries to show you something new.. it can only help your writing.. never hurt it.. just always set out to be a better writer and grow as such and you should never be disappointed

Ok this seems like the right thread. *knocks on the door- and doesn’t receive an answer*
Hmmmm..... *breaks a window and gets inside the thread – starts looking at the poems* ......
Cool nice poems...... hey what’s this none dedicated to me yet! :(
See *points at Astarael* she already dedicated one to me ..... so her thread is better :D :P :P

These are great poems! I especially like this part in Winter:

New moon starting to write a new story ,
Of a battle won by death without glory.
And as the angels gently awake
Death with a kiss their lives will take

That is fantastic! Great job, keep it up!

don't you know it :D

Ugh! Dude that is so obvious! And I'll think about writing a poem dedicated to Muse if he dedicates one to me. . . Hey Astarael You ROCK! *licks sasha*

again, ur stuff is excellent. *applauds Deadly Reaper*

awwww that is so cute! I love ya! ^_^

*licks reaper* if you view the sig below *points down* you will notice that i too am your #1 fan

*rapes sasha for being so sweet* :devilnaughty:

writer's block! writer's block! writer's block! DUDE!!!! I hate this grrrr. . .