hey most of what i write is when im not in a good mood *like now* heres something i wrote to relieve srtess tell me wat u think of it pleazz!


the tears they pour down like rain
tho i dont kno why
rarely do i cry
when i do i hide

the music is turned up full
the door shut fast
to smother any sounds that mite escape
for fear theyll hear

now the becomes anger
that boils and seethes
till it spills over
and i cant control it

the music is turned up full
the door shut fast
to smother any sounds that mite escape
for fear theyll hear

so... wat do u think???

being new sucks no one knows u

I think you did very well on that one
yes I can relate with you when i first got here i knew only 2 people
don't worry you'll be fine
keep up the good work

~Lixi pop~

lixi, you were lucky, i didn't know anyone when i first came here... still don't really know anyone except 1-2 people but then again that's just me :P

i like your poem but the several grammar and typo errors take away from the impact a bit.
and here
"now the becomes anger"
there seems to be a word missing.
hope to see more soon :)

thanx u guys it really helps

heres another one but its a little older

wat is this place?
i dont remember it
have i been here be for
yes i have
im trapped
trapped in a dark room

wat is this place?
this is my hell
where im trapped with everything i hate
cant escape
im scared i want out
let me out pleaz
somebody wont u help me pleaz

what is this place
this is my home where im forever held
captive of my own thoughts
where they swirl about me laughing
pointing to the exit then it disappears
this is my cell

wat is this place
it is my eternal prison
my home
my mind

*pats you on the shoulder* join the club. if you ever find a way out of the prison of your mind, do tell me how you found it, i'll probably still be trying to escape from mine...

i said that that one was old. i found they way a while ago. hangin with my friends helps A LOT. its usually only when i isolate myself and im mad. now i just have to help my friend out of her suicidal spree. any suggestions???

heres a new one

sweet innocence
that only comes with the newly born
but y does that innocence disappear?
were they truly born with it or not?

so dependant
with out us they couldnt survive
so y do we force them away as they grow?
is for their own good or ours?

blindingly trusting
that we will alwaz care for them
so when their older y does that trust fade?
is it our fault?

such sweet innocence,such dependance,such trust
that only comes with a new born
but as they grow that all changes
do they chose it to or was it destiny for us all?

dedicated to my new twin cousins Rose and Taner make mommas life hell and take after ur sis and me!!
(its not one of my better ones but its the thought that counts rite?)

go here
http://forum.vampires.com/index.php?showtopic=16070
and read through the comments that Astarael and I made in particular. it might give you a few ideas as to what to say to your friend. or let her read it herself. we're people, we're here. there's always going to be an ear to lend to someone's suffering.
suicide often occurs when there is so much happening within someone and they have no one to tell who would understand them. the thoughts grow increasingly violent and volatile until they can't be controlled anymore. talking helps. writing helps. screaming helps. anything that makes something other than blood come out will help. even punching walls until your knuckles are black or purple helps (personal experience). anything but suicide.

-------------------------

in regards to your poem.
i think children are the most innocent and pure form of expression. they are like animals that can communicate with us. i mean that in the sense that animals don't hide emotions, they often display them very evidently without second thought. bad apples in our society sap away that purity as they grow.
from an evolutionary point of view, the sole purpose of bearing children is to raise them to the stage where they are self-sufficient members of their society and no longer need the direct assistance of the parents. that still holds true, though it does not mean the parents cannot continue to support their children through their lives.
as far as the trust and care goes... sometimes parents fall into the trap of thinking that because they've lived with their children their whole lives, they know what their children are like. teenage years are extremely volatile years during which a person can very easily make a 180 degree turn to the better or worse (usually to the worse). when parents fall into the trap of stereotyping their own children and assume there's certain things they'd never do, that's when the communication breaks and the care isn't felt anymore. the teenager is feeling one thing, the parent is perceiving another.
that's why teenage suicide rates are the highest around the world. it's hard for adults to understand them and other teenagers who can help are often busy trying to understand their own selves.

i don't often believe in destiny, but i do sometimes feel that certain events take place for a reason. children must lose part of their innocence if they are to survive in the world today.


sorry to have rambled on so much, it's just that your poem jump-started the wordy-response mechanisms in me

sometimes parents fall into the trap of thinking that because they've lived with their children their whole lives, they know what their children are like. teenage years are extremely volatile years during which a person can very easily make a 180 degree turn to the better or worse (usually to the worse). when parents fall into the trap of stereotyping their own children and assume there's certain things they'd never do, that's when the communication breaks and the care isn't felt anymore. the teenager is feeling one thing, the parent is perceiving another.

thats basically what happened inmy family with me and my parents. they expected me to be the little princess and instead i got an attitude,mouth,and wat they consider the wrong friends.

as with my friend she used to write untill her boyfriend at the time said she was anly a step away from doin what she wrote about. that scared her so she stopped. she was an awesome writer. i tried to talk her into writing again and ive talked to her about her problems. she did eventually tell me that she cuts. her parents even know and they make things worse.she wasnt talking to her dad for a time cuz he plain said she was stupid. i usually dont worry about things but shes got really worried. she acts happy but i kno she aint. thanx for the advice ill just keep trying with her.
(sry i ramble too)

again i run into cutting... *really wishes people wouldn't do that* the scars it leaves aren't only physical.
assure your friend that she isn't stupid and that you're not the only one who thinks she's not stupid. she probably knows well enough that cutting isn't the best thing in the world. she doesn't need to be made to feel stupid about it.
and do continue to encourage her to write. if not poems, then just her thoughts. or if she doesn't, then just get her to talk to you about her thoughts if that would work better with her.
for me, writing kept me sane. for her it might be different as it could be for you or anyone else. and be thankful she told you she cuts. as bad as it is, it's better to know than to be completely unaware.

if you get really desperate, feel free to invite her to the forum, i'm sure either me or astarael or someone else, could pitch a helping hand :)

BEing a prisoner of your own mind must suck...
I dont know how that feels. I lost mine a long way back... I would like to find i one day

Good poems! I liked the first one alot, keep it up :)

Sam Misanthropy

sam misanthropy-thanx it has some screw ups but i like it too

dark_elements- she doesnt cut as much as she did and shes starting to get better. at least thats wat she told me. she one of those friends you would never expect to do that and i do have that i still trust her like i used to and she knows it. i made it a point to tell her everything i thought i to help her as much as i could. thanx for ur advice again. i read some where that ur 19?? man u sure can think deep for 19.

new one

he screams, pleads
and my heart is torn to shreads
he crys, begs
and i try to confort him

if i were to lose him
what would i do?
where would i go?
would i blame myself?

he laughs,giggles
and my heart feels whole
he runs,plays
and i run after him

if i were to lose him
where would i go?
what would i do?
would i blame myself?

if i were to lose him
i would have no where to go
nothing to do
yes i would blame myself
-----------------------------------------

dedicated to my youngest brother dallas. dont know what i would do w/o him.

ok mood just had a rapid change so new thought

oh no
whats this?
could it be?
pleaz no

gingerly i pick up the package
trembling i look at it
quickly as tho it might burn
i hand it to my parents

why did this happen?
how do u do this?
all these questions
i know the answer i just wont give it

rapidly the anger swells
how dare they?
call me stupid
say im ignorant

they dont kno what today is like
lets see them do what i do
and do better than me
i doubt they could

the days of perfectness are over
im not the little know it all i once was
tho i still kno enough sometimes more if needed
im not the princess of the family now!

i might have been once
but not no more
never will i be perfect
and yet they dont understand this

must i yell?
must i scream?
yes i screwed up!!
yes i know!!

no im not perfect!!
no im not the princess!!
ill live fine any how
will you???
-----------------------------------------
i just got my final report card of the year that says if i passed or not. i passed but it wasnt as good as it should have been. o well all that i care about is that i passed.
so :censored: the ones who thought i wouldnt :devilflip: ^_^

both poems are great .u have talent.. and ur poems are a lot like mine.. stress releaving poems..

those u write jus because you have notthin else to relive stress well keep up the good work hope to see more of ur poems.. ^_^

^_^ stop by my thread sometime and you will see what i mean...

thanx i will

hey miscarriedmind i looked at ur site and i see wat u mean. my best stuff usually comes when im mad or upset or just feeling a strong emotion. is that the same with u? it looks like it is.

Yeah, that's exactly how i write, when im mad or something.... lately ive just been blank mind and soul and out of nowhere comes anger and hurt jus like that and i have to write to get my mind off it to releive stress and pain.. it helps a lot.. most of these poems ive written at the minute and they turn out pretty good.. i realy admire your poems.. keep posting ^_^

new one

there they go again
leaving me to watch the boys
their my brothers, yes i luv them
but i dont want my life to revolve around them

might as well be surrogate mother

im their on the spot baby sitter
for when they have unexpected plans
just here to keep them out of truble
when ever they want to run off

might as well be surrogate mother

just becuase im the oldest
still im only 14.
i know its just their way
of keeping me from following their footsteps

might as well be surrogate mother

17 and pregnant is not how they want me to turn out
having to struggle to pay bills and feed 4 kids
but every parent wants better for their children
wants them to have the things they didnt

i am surrogate mother
----------------------------------------------------
ive got 3 little brothers( 2,5and 8) and im constantly haveing to watch them.sometimes i dont mind but then other times i want to just be by myself and its kinda hard to do with them hanging round. o well their still my bros

hey, i don't have time to read your other ones right now, but i did want to make a comment on your new poem about brothers.
first of all, i completely get what you're saying with the poem. my brother is 10 years younger than me (therefore, 9 years old) and it's quite common for me to be left to look after him. even when other people are at home though, he clings to me more than anyone else. i'm the only one he offers hugs to hehehe.

anyway, the point is that he follows me all over the place. if we're watching tv and i come here to check my mail, he runs after me. when i come home from uni, he's always talking to me about video games and stuff.
there's 2 ways to look at this. one, is the way you looked at through most of your poem, which is that they drive you crazy and it's as if they're your kids and not your parents' and you just want them to bug off for a bit sometimes.
but then, there's a completely different view.
at 9, that means he's only a few years away from teenagehood, and the changes in him are already starting to be quite visible. his perception and way of thought is changing.
while on one hand i just want to tape his mouth to get him to shut the hell up, when i look a few years into the future, i WANT him to be able to talk to me about anything that comes to his mind.
my sister used to be really good with him, but she's set up walls of her own around herself that don't allow for the same relationship i have with him. he feels closer to me because we share some of our interests, or at least he shares some of mine (since all he cares about are games, games and graphics).
so what i try to do is point out to him that i need my own space, but that it's also okay for him to tell me whatever he wants to talk to me about at the times when i don't need to be alone.

when you've got 3 brothers though it's a liiiiiiiittle bit different. think of it this way though. the 5 year old might piss you off, but 2 year olds are infinitely cute and 8 year olds can be pretty funny. so overall it should be cool hehe. and i think as you grow up you'll earn a much deeper appreciation from your brothers for having been there with them all those hours. i'm a firm believer in "what goes round comes around" and thankfully enough that applies to good things as well.
so, hang in there for now and just continue to grumble about having no personal life, and rest assured that later on in life your brothers will be there for you when you are the one who needs them.

sorry if i rambled on, i can't even really remember everything i've said in this reply hehe brain fried from worry and frantically studying for an exam i have in less than 24 hours.



oh yeah, on a technical side, one thing that tends to take away from a poem's impact is spelling or grammar errors. i can go through your poem later if you want and point them all out. so you can fix them. it just makes the poems more... credible almost, and stronger in my eyes

the 5 year old might piss you off, but 2 year olds are infinitely cute and 8 year olds can be pretty funny.
----------------------------------
ok ur sense of that is probably true for most every body. but my little brothers... i dont know. the 8 yr old pisses me off so does the 5yr old half the time and the other half hes funny. then we come to the 2 yr old. yes while he is infinitly cute and adorable hes also infinitly evil. thye boy knows to much for his own good!! as soon as he learnd to walk he was pushing a chair over to the stove just so he can get in top of it!! him and the 5 yr old are going to be truble makers when they get older and the 8 yr old i have no clue about. o well well see what happens down the road.
------------------------------------------
ok the gramatical and spellin errors. i went through and looked at it. i think most of the spelling errors are from not taking the time to spell them right. i was just running through that poem and some of the way i type on aol got into it. ive been trying to break that habbit at least on this site. if i went through and typed like i do on aol it would be a lot shorter and probably a lot harder to read. il try harder next time to fix that. thanx tho.
---------------------------------------
sorry if i rambled on, i can't even really remember everything i've said in this reply hehe brain fried from worry and frantically studying for an exam i have in less than 24 hours.
i dont mind if u ramble i can do the same thing.(i do that very often ask my friends!!) ur studying for an exam?? for school?? man if it is we got out of school may 28.but well probably start like the 15 or august now cuz of it. o well. ive only got 4 yrs of school left(high school thank GOD!!)yes!!!!

okie, first, it might be useful if you use the Quote tags just type this without the spaces between letters and brackets:

[ quote ] you paste the text you want to quote in here and then enter this [ / quote ]

agan without the spaces between the word quote and the brackets and slash.
just helps distinguish the text you are referring to :)

anyway, yeah, 2-year-olds are cute but they can he hard as hell to control.
good luck with staying sane and keeping an eye on them :)

and yeah, exam tomorrow. 2 hours and 15 minutes of 'Organisational Analysis and Change' *cringes at the name*
*hates his uni course*

ok what grade are you in????? cuz im goin into 9 and if thats something i have to look forward to ill cringe at the name too!!! what state do you live in?? hopefully not indiana cuz then we probably dont have the same state standards.

ohh and thanx for the tip on quotes.

*grins* i am beyond grades my young friend. i don't always have to wake up at 8 to get to school at 9 and i don't have to stay until 3 everyday. we probably do have different state standards. i would expect the australian tertiary educational system to be slightly different from the american junior high one ;)
and pray to god that you will never do a course that has a subject like that in it unless you are perverted enough to love reading a great number of lengthy, tedious and often pointless articles.

bedtime now, exam is in 13 hours and 30 minuets

oo thank GOD. and i dont get up at at 8 to go to school at 9. i get up at 6 to go to scool at 8:15(that was junior high or middle scool as we call it). but schools out thankfuly!!!!! yes no h/w for 2 months!!!!! for high scool it starts at 7:30 i think or 7:15 something like that but we get out at like 2:30 or so. i dont really know and wont till scool starts again.

yes i know i spelled scool wrong ive spelling it like this for a while(blame aol)

ok new one

lifes a rollercoaster
but whats life with out friends
they help us through thick and thin
protect us from our worst enemys
our selfs
give advice about life
see to it that we live it to its fullest
to go through life friendless
is to not live but to hate
for above all how can you not love your friends
as a brother or a sister
lifes a rollercoaster
but whats life if your friends aint there
to go over the wild and tame parts with you
to enjoy life and teach you to enjoy it

this one was just thrown out there so sorry if it doesnt sound right or if ive got to many errors in it D.E.
but any ways my friends are EVERY thing to me . without them im nothing. cuz i have no sisters i like to think of them as my sisters ^_^ . my friends are my family. no doubt about that. ^_^

ok real quik question a litle of topic o well
does any one here listen to good charlotte? if u do do you like their song hold on?
THANXXXXX

Hey i like your last poem you wrote there

And as for Good Charlotte Nope dont listen to them or like them and that song hold on is okay if only some other band sang it, it would be awsome....Joels voice singing it sounds to...popstarish but yeah you asked the question and i answered! have a nice day and everything :devilnaughty:

thanx i was just wondering what kind of music the poeple here listen to. what bands do u guys listen to???

mmmm It all depends...i like alot of different music
But i prefer Heavy metal and as for my fav band...i dont have just one i have about a million fav bands they are all great and equal in my eyes so its hard to choose just one...by they way you dont have to go off topic in your own poem thread you can start a topic at the Off topic forum :devilnaughty:

^_^ yea i could but i dont feel like so from now on on topic.!!!!!!! ^_^

ok im like really really really bored and have nothing to write about. this suxxxx!!!!

man im fallen behind. i just aint got nuttin to write bout. hopefullyt i get a thought soon!!!!! :ph34r:

all righty then new one

these voices swirl about me
calming me soothing me
bring me out of my rage
to allow me to think clearly

these voices swirl about me
angering me pushing me
over the edge i go
untill i act violently

these voices swirl about me
pressing me dragging me
pulling me under the surface
falling deeper and deeper

these voices swirl about
calming me angering me pressing me
controlling these emotions of mine
to there own pleasure



ive had soo many mood swings lately its not funny. lately it does feel like other peaple control my emotions. not very pleasant.

all righty then new one

these voices swirl about me
calming me soothing me
bring me out of my rage
to allow me to think clearly

these voices swirl about me
angering me pushing me
over the edge i go
untill i act violently

these voices swirl about me
pressing me dragging me
pulling me under the surface
falling deeper and deeper

these voices swirl about
calming me angering me pressing me
controlling these emotions of mine
to there own pleasure



ive had soo many mood swings lately its not funny. lately it does feel like other peaple control my emotions. not very pleasant.

ok ive been working on this story for a while now so im gonna post here and take a break from poetry for a while maybe. its doesnt really have much to do with vamps its more magick then anything. tell me what you think please.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

prologue
Exhausted bright Flame wove in and out of her opponent’s sword. She knew she had to end this quickly or she would surly lose. This man had come out of no where and taken her by surprise. His battle style and his choice of weapon told her he was a Dark Serpent clan member. Their people tended to rely more on weaponry than magick but that put her at a disadvantage seeing as she had no opportunity to perform any spells and her defensive tactics could only hold for so long. She needed to get out of here and fast. Only years of warring against the Serpents had taught her how to really survive their surprise attacks.

Half her mind stayed focused on the fight while the other searched for a way out. From experience she knew their were others in the woods waiting for her to run for it. But if she ran where would she go? The citadel was the closest but she couldn’t lead these people to that. It basically sentences her people to death. And being high priestess meant she had to defend them what ever the cost.

Her clan, right Flame, would wonder where she was soon. She never missed a ritual such as this. The naming of her first born daughter. Her successor as high priestess. Destiny. She could not allow them to find her. They would kill her on sight. Even though she was only an infant she still posed a future threat.

With renewed vigor Morgan began to fight back so viscously that her attacker was surprised for a moment. But that was all Morgan needed. She easily slipped past him and landed a fatal blow. She hadn’t expected the dagger he had kept hidden on his back. As he struggled to stay upright he reached for it and plunged it into abdomen.

Morgan shrieked with pain and fell to the ground next to the assassin. Out of sure curiosity she reached out and dragged the mask that had been obscuring his face away. Unknowingly she had just killed the Dark Serpent’s high priest. With grim satisfaction that her daughter would be safe for a few years she let out her last breath.



The Serpents hadn’t been counting on their own high priest being killed in the battle. This hindered many of their plans while they chose a new leader. But they had also succeeded in doing as they planned that night. Morgan Bright Flame had also been killed in the fray and the Bright Flame clan would not choose a new leader so long as the true heir lived. So both clans fell into oblivion and were forgotten except in lore. Until the Serpents finally found a leader…



Fires Flame


Suddenly I found myself in a dark room. Pitch black. Literally. You know how your hand glows white? Didn’t even see that until I hit myself in the face. I stumbled around the room to see how big it was. Instinctively I went to the right. It seemed like I walked for hours when the wall on my left disappeared. Walking on I ran into a wall so I turned around and went down the side corridor.

Unsure if it was my imagination I thought I saw a light father down the other end. Figuring there was nothing to lose I started down the hall towards it. As I approached the light I could faintly discern shapes. The closer I came to, what seemed the end of the hall, the more the shapes to form. Before I realized where I was I found myself in front of a long table with three people behind it. To the left sat a woman and the middle and right people seemed to be men.

“Destiny Morgan Allen?” the middle man asked.

“Uhh… Yes,” I answered hesitantly. How did they know my name I wondered?

“This not a time for questions. You need to listen to us first then there might be time for questions later. Right now were short on time as it is.” the woman stated before I could even open my mouth to voice my question. Instantly I could feel my pupils narrow at her menacingly. I don’t like being told what to do by people who don’t know me. Already I did not like this woman.

“Destiny do you know what your real name is?” the middle man asked then continued when I hesitated, “It is Destiny Bright Flame. Your mother died when you were but an infant, trying to protect you and her clan.”

“Clan? What clan? What are you insane people talking about? And where the fuck am I?” I demanded as soon as I had the chance.

The right hand man answered me this time, “Your mother was a high priestess of one of the strongest magickal clans in her time. The Bright Flame.” with emphasis on her.

“But since her death the clan has fallen in reputation and has few remaining loyal members. With out their true high priestess the Fire clan will ultimately disappear. This true heir to the “throne” of the clan is you Destiny.” he finished and paused.

It took a while for this new information to settle in. when it did a new thought rose to the surface. If my mother died when I was a baby then whose the woman I’ve called mom for fourteen years? The only possible explanation didn’t sit well in my stomach. Just as suddenly as I’d arrived here I felt sick.

“Then that means I’m…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. How could I?

The woman explained “Yes you are adopted. And we realize that you are older than the usual beginning pupil.” she elaborated, “We never would have attempted to tell you this if it weren’t dire. You see another clan much stronger than the existing is threatening to destroy us unless we submit to them and hand over all our long guarded magick.

“All of us together wouldn’t be enough to stop them. The only clan that might even stand a chance is yours. If you don’t restore it to its former glory then our race of magic will cease to exist.” she continued, “ currently they are after you and you people to stop any regrouping that might take place.” she broke off abruptly, tensing as though she could sense something I could not.

“Our time is nearly up,” she whispered to the man next to her.

He sighed and slowly stood beckoning me to him, “I want you to take this stone it will protect you from the Dark Serpents. We must leave you now. Tread your paths with care.” he warned.

I stared down at the oddly heavy stone. It was entirely black with just a hint of some sort of light in it. As I looked closer I noticed the light was actually a fire that was licking the inside of the stone; as though trying to get out. As I examined the stone closer my vision went blurred and the floor beneath me started to tilt and swirl.

Before I knew what was happening I was swirling around in an abyss of darkness. I felt like I was swimming in a freezing lake. The cold was making me weak and tired. All I wanted to do was go to sleep but instinct kept me awake. Then with out warning the stone began to glow so brightly I had to turn away. When I opened my eyes next I was in a hospital bed with my family surrounding me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
again please tell me what you think. thank ya luvs

ok another part of the story (no one seems to really care tho)
-----------------------------------
“Uuhhh… what happened?” I moaned. My head hurt like hell.

“Mom she’s awake. Its ok destiny you’re going to be fine,” a voice somewhere out of my line of vision said.

“Honey are you ok?” my moms head swam into sight. She looked like shed been up all night fretting and worrying. “You took a nasty fall down the stairs and you busted your head open. But you’ll be fine the doctor said.” she turned and I heard her tell some one to go and get the doctor to tell him I’ve woken up.

“Oh my god. I feel horrible. How did I fall?” I wondered out loud. Then suddenly my memory came rushing back to me. I had been sitting reading in my mother’s room when the storm blew the power out. I had huddled close to the fire to continue to read but had instead been entranced by the fires dance. How it smoldered and licked around the burning logs. Curious about its ever changing colors, white to blue to red to yellow then to orange. Never constant always varying. Seeing little tendrils of fire break away as though to start their own but never lasting long away from its origin. So delicate yet so wild and untamable. Fire had fascinated me ever since I was a child. I remember several times I would get to close and burn myself. It accounts for many of the scars on the hands and arms.

Then as if told to by some unknown force I turned my gaze away from the beautiful flame and slowly walked to the steps that led to the den. I remember telling my self no don’t walk down stairs. Some things not right. I could feel it in the air. But no matter how hard I fought it I felt me self fall as though pushed.

The next thing I remember was waking up here. But there was a nagging thought at the back of her head saying there was more but you don’t want to acknowledge it.

“Hello destiny. How do you feel?” the doctor had obviously just walked in.

“Fine I guess for having just fallen down a flight of stairs,” I answered with sarcasm. I hate doctors always trying to be so cheerful and jolly when you feel nowhere close to that. Really I felt down right awful.

“Good, good. Well ill just check how your stitches are holding,” at this I shot a look to my mother. She never said any thing about stitches; the doctor either didn’t notice or pretended not to. “They seem to be ok. Let me check a few other things,” and she proceeded to take my blood pressure, temperature and checked the rest of my vitals. “Well everything seems to be ok. I think it’s a little late to release you so ill sign the papers in the morning then you can go home. Ok?”

“Sure, fine with me,”

“Ok people I think we need to leave destiny alone so she can sleep. Oh and by the way my name is dr. pualsky. Just call me if you need any think.”

“But doctor” mother started “shouldn’t some one stay in here with her. And should she sleep? What if she has a concussion?” mom. Always the worrier of the family.

“No Mrs. Allen destiny is fine and she needs to be alone with out you fretting over her.” at least this doctor knew when someone needed some privacy.

Slowly every body trickled out into the hall where I could still here them talking. Mom would probably try to stay the night here. Luckily they only allow that for people with a dying relative. I rolled over trying to find a comfortable position just find something digging into my hip bone. I sat up and reached into my pocket and pulled out the little black stone. Now how did I get this? Then the little voice in the back of my head came back. You know where it came from just remember. It came back to me then. The three people telling me that I was the rightful high priestess, my mother had died when I was just a baby defending me and the clan. The clan. Bright Flame. I was supposed to find them and restore them so we could fight this other clan, Dark Serpent. I dint want to think about the rest of the meeting. I fell into an uneasy sleep riddled with nightmares.

ok maybe i cant take a break from poetry

im sinking again
falling beneath this frozen ocean
you expect so much
that i cannot give you

this weight is dragging me down
pulling me into the deepest depths
why do you yell at me like this?
what did i ever do to you?

happiness comes and goes suddenly
never staying for long
but then the longing comes
and sits and sits

dragging me down
beneath the surface
where if i stay to long
i fear i will drown in it

this icy lake
of every bitter emotion
every scream uttuered
do i blame her or myself
i do not know
and i think i shall never know


i dont like thid one but what do you think of it?

the poem is raw emotion and i avoid criticising raw emotion, even when criticism is asked of me.

one thing though. if you feel you can't take a break from poetry, don't try to take one. take advantage of the times when you have a lot to say. there will be other times when you'll want to write but will find nothing to say.

so when it flows, let it flow and don't think about it being good or bad. just let it come
:)

ok thanx elements. it does really help. my mom thinks i got a spark for writing but im afraid of the akward quetions shed bring up if i showed them to her. so this is my only place to put them. nice to have people to talk to that you dont live with.

hey anybody who reads the story i put up am i writing in 2 different tenses?? i think i might be. im not sure tho and id like an outsiders opinion. ooo and THANXX ^_^

i totally know what you mean. consider yourself lucky for it. when i was writing this kind of poems i had no one to show. at least not the way we can show here. whatever i did with it was all done within my own head and without much external input or support. even now i'm glad i found this site. there's so much i wouldn't say anywhere else that i feel very free to say here. it's a great place to flourish i think. great place to vent out the frustration and anger enough to allow for better emotions to settle in.

yea it most definitly is. i have no clue wat i would do if i hadnt found this place. and i thank the girl who showed it to me. i probably would have went crazy.

ok new poem it might start like my first one did but it kinda fits.

the tears pour
they pour down
and will not stop
i dont know how to stop them
ive kept this inside to long
my emotional dam is breaking
cracking at the base
and streatching skyward
as i stand and watch
i wonder how can i stop this?
surely this will cuase a masacre?
looking upon the brittle village
that is my home
warning my friends and family
but they will not head
they will not run
when the dam finally crumbles
who will be the first
for me to shout at or cry on.
who will lend me a shoulder?
who will come near me after its all over?
these tears pour
they pour down
and i cant stop it!


im thinking its repeating something else i wrote but im not sure. ive just been on the fritz lately and i think its starting to get to me.

hey i forgot but i was gonna ask how did ur exams go??

ok mom wouldnt let me on all yesterday afternoon so i got some new writing
----------------------------------------

i dont see you there anymore
where you once stood
is now an emty oblivion
i dont see you there any more

i dont feel you there any more
the space you once filled
is nothing but a black abyss
i dont feel you there any more

i dont want to see you
i dont want to feel you
all you give is pain
all you take is happiness
i dont want to see you
i dont want to feel you

i want you to disappear
--------------------------------

you poke and prode
analyz and examine
trying so desperatly
to understand me
cant you see?
im to comnplicated
to be understood
all i want
is acceptance
cant you just accept
my faults and my actions?
why do you have to understand
why i do the things i do?
im just to complicated
to be understood
all i want is acceptance
you will never
understand me
but you will never
accept me
---------------------------

we scream
we yell
every conversation
turns ugly
who startes them?
i never know
i never care
but i get to yell
at you
and vent this anger
at you
all i have
is argueing
but one day ill crack
and screaming wont help
i wont be in control
and neither will you
does that scare you?
it should
---------------------------------
ill wait and see what you make of it.

another one
--------------------
your slipping
your losing the
most preciose thing to you
your losing your control
the control
that once monitered
my every move
making sure
i didnt do what u did
no this child
would never have a chance to mess up
i sit and watch
my friends run the town
but this child
cant cross the street
with out an adult
now i tug at the chain
youve bound round my neck
choking my self
so that you have to let go
now i have
what ive longed for
for so long
your slipping
your losing the
most preciose thing to you
your losing your control
does it scare you?
----------------------------------------
ill wait to see what you think of it

no one cares how i feel
no one askes what are you thinking about
no one askes my opinion
no this child
is nothing
as long as she
gets the grades
and does the work
this child
is nothing
as long
she never follows her mothers steps
and gets into the good college
this child
is nothing
no one cares how i feel
no one askes what are you thinkg about
no one askes my opinion
no this child is nothing
but a burden unwanted and uncared for
------------------------------------------------------
what ever. what do you think?