Annie

She falls in love with everything,
Every other day her heart is broken.
It’s nothing she should ever care about,
But so many thoughts are left unspoken.

She’s getting tired of the stress,
She doesn’t know how to respond,
How to act, which way to go,
She has no one to turn to but herself.

Alone in a world of flying emotions,
And Screaming tears.
In puddles of self hate.
No one noticed.

Locked in a room with closed windows,
Shaded in black, camouflaged within,
Like the color of her tempestuous mood.
They say it gets better, but every day it’s worse.

She screams in the dark,
And nobody hears. Nobody cares.
She’s left alone, abandoned by all,
They turned away when she tried too hard.

Alone in a world of flying emotions,
And Screaming tears.
In puddles of hate.
No one noticed.

Every new day is a more depressing day,
She watches through the window,
She watches them move,
And yet she’s alone inside. Alone.

When all this is over,
Heaven knows she’s getting nowhere.
She’s only dreaming of a better life,
The deeper meaning she can’t find.

Alone in a world of flying emotions,
And Screaming tears.
In puddles of hate.
No one noticed.

But me.

Are you there?

Everything just seems to slowly eat away at me inside.
I’m trying to mellow out but it’s harder than you thought.
I’m holding it all in.
Holding in the pain to where It’s driving me insane.

I’m screaming.
I’m screaming at you but you don’t hear.
You’re not here, and I’m not there.
Where are you when I need you the most.

When it goes down to times like this,
I feel like I can’t take it anymore.
In a bath of blood and bubbles, and I’ve never done this before.
I don’t want to, but someone said I should.

I’m screaming.
I’m screaming at you but you don’t hear.
You’re not here, and I’m not there.
Where are you when I need you the most.

I feel like I’ve lost you but I know you’re there,
You’re my lucky star,
But I don’t see you tonight.
I looked outside and I didn’t see you.
I looked deeper, and I found myself, here.

When it goes down to times like this,
I feel like I can’t take it anymore.
In a bath of blood and bubbles, and I’ve never done this before.
I don’t want to, but someone said I should.

The damage I do to myself because of the damage from others,
When it all seems unbearable, I think of you.
I thought of you.
All I wanted was to make you proud.
All I wanted was to be everything you wanted me to be.
Have I failed?

Dead inside

Is this only a sickness?
I’m awake at four in the morning.
I’m always awake. Thinking.
I hate being pensive.
I’d kill my senses.
The silence is too loud.
I’m always feeling like a cheap bitch.
I’m thinking of things that make me sad.
But why can’t I stop.
I’m so depressed I’m comfortable.
I’m just looking for my way out.
I’m not getting much of anything.
Is this only a sickness?
Because it’s tearing me apart.
This is all killing me.
And the saddest part…is that I don’t care.

Lost Child

I was only dreaming when I thought I could impress you.
I’ve done things, bought things for your love.
Love from the one that gave me life.
Was that an act of love, or was this all a mistake?

We tried to get things straight,
But you’re not here for me. You don’t see me.
I’m miserable.
Hopeless.
Faithless now thanks to you.

No part of you is in me anymore.
I tried to be good. I tried to be better.
I’ve failed at everything. I failed as a child. An immature teenager.
Now I can never redeem myself.

It’s hard to say I don’t care.
It’s hard to even speak to you.
When I think of you, it makes me cry.
Does that make you happy?

I’m crying because I realized I failed you.
And you’ve failed me.
Shoving your pills and religion down my throat.
Being too close minded.
When will you realize I’m me?
I’m only me.
I can’t change for you when I am what I want to be.
I’m real.
I can’t pretend with you. I won’t.
I’m real. I was here. And now I’m gone.

Beautiful, in flow and imagery, you are very talented BP. :)

:devilbook:

Heh...thanks.

you write beautifully ^_^

I love the imagery in your poems. I've been reading your diary recently and you're poems are stunning. Love you lots.

i could relate to this. constantly in pain, but no one cares. when someone is so full of love and compassion... it's easy to get hurt, because the truth is, this isn't a world of love or compassion. it's a love of hate and selfishness. So someone like this Annie, caring and loving... would only get crushed in the end. She would be alone, and very confused. She probably wouldn't understand the reactions she got, ending up loathing herself. The weak fall and the strong survive. That is the way of things. This poem is true to life, showing how sad it really is. Beautiful work, BPR.

i also liked "Are You There?" Things hurt. Even little things that go wrong are frustrating, but you can't hold inside until you explode, you have to talk to someone, and if they don't seem to understand, keep talking to them anyway. People hurt people. That's life. But you're hurting yourself but shutting people out, just talk until someone listens. lovely poem...

and "Dead Inside". There is no way out. Really, BPR. There is no way out. You'll always have your sorrows and pains to deal with, but in that sense, you'll also always have your joy and laughter to keep forever too. You have to focus on the good things, as hard as it is. It's hard to deal with feeling low about yourself, but try pointing out something positive, and if you can't, just don't think about yourself at all, think about good things in life, things you like.

"Lost Child" gave me chills. I can relate to that, not measuring up... I loved it. You don't have to try to impress anyone. Just be yourself, at the end of the poem, you state that you're "only you" but that's not true, you are the only thing you can be. You can only be you. And if that's not good enough for someone else, it doesn't matter. It's good enough for who you are. You can't earn love. Love isn't something you can earn. Love is a gift, and if someone won't give you love for who you are, than they never will. You don't fail. You are who you are, and that's all you can be. You. And that is enough.

Beautiful...

The damage I do to myself because of the damage from others,
When it all seems unbearable, I think of you.
I thought of you.
All I wanted was to make you proud.
All I wanted was to be everything you wanted me to be.
Have I failed?



I love your words and I refer to them often

Wow. That was such an awesome post. thank you for reading.
I wasn't sure if people got what I was saying..but that's great.



Thank you. I was pretty proud of the verse as well. Haha.



Thank you. I havn't written any poems in it for a while, but thanks. :)

!superfan!!!the biggest

lol! Thanks.

Awww. You seem like such a sweet person, too. So when can we hope to see more of your beautiful poems?