If there would be real vamps.
I say there are others say there aren't .
But IF they should exist, Would a vamp use the toilet?
Weird question i know but a practical one.
I say they would poop since blood probably isn't completely reduced to nothing inside a vamp and must leave something.

Now lets watch the useless ramble on this unfold. :popcorn:

Well I guess if they digest the blood then yeah they would need to get rid of extra waste.

I can see it now a thousand year old vamp sitting on the can reading the vamp weekly dumping his heart out.

*visualises said scene.*

LMGDAO :P

Blood is ninety percent water.

I'd say no.

(And before you ask, no, I don't think Classicals piss, either)

where do they put the water then?

Think about it.

If a classical existed, their body structure - their basic makeup, would have to be slightly different to ours (at LEAST slightly different) on a cellular level.

Food, water, oxygen...replace all the basic staples that sustain human life, with blood, and you have a classical vampire.

What i'm trying to say is, the blood they ingest wouldn't go through a digestive system like the food or water we ingest does. I'm guessing it would just be absorbed..diffused maybe, on a cellular level, to maintain the body. Keep them looking relatively 'alive'.

*massages forehead and sighs in annoyance* To be honest. The blood goes through the circulatory system and they can eat and drink it just cant quench their hunger. They have a digestive system and can do all bodily functions just like a human being. Think about it, how exactly would they be moving about if they didnt have the circulatory system? Vampires are not as complicated as you think, start thinking logicly people.

when it comes to classicals, just think of anne rice's novels. when lestat was changed, his changing body rejected the waste that it didn't need and he went to the loo for the last time. and remember when he told louis to go and relieve himself not long after he was changed? vampires don't need to go to the loo; they absorb the blood into themselves.

but what happens if they drink bad blood?

Diarea?

ugh. The only blood diseases I know of is Sickle Cell and Aids. They are immune to diseases and as for blood diseases...they usually know the 'donor' who they take the blood from. If they get a blood disease then I guess they get a blood disease *shrugs*

I like the diarea better.
But good thinking.
I can see you are an intelligent person.
Nice to meet you by the way.

To be quite honest, I wasnt thinking I know...and the diareah answer just shows me you have a mind of a 5 year old. I wouldnt say nice to meet you to you so...

:devilflip: Have a nice day.

vampyraaislinn, it sounds rather like you are talking about HLVs. Are you?

Just inquiring, because i'd love to know how you know -for certain- so much about classical vampires.

It's all just opinion, really. None of us (to my knowledge) have ever found a classical and shoved him/her under a microscope...so we'll never know. Speculation.

lol, first off, I can't believe I'm actually replying to a thread called "pooping vamps"!! Secondly, I realized I had to respond because it's something I've pondered myself... I could go either way, but I guess that if I had to come up with something... How about this? They actually use up the blood they drink, and so they have to drink more...I say they pee blood. Yep. That's what I say.

I do have the mind of a five year old sometimes. :P
But I still think that vamps would poop cuz everyone has dead cells they wanna get rid of.
Like the cells of a wound recovering or the cells they don't need.
It would kinda hurt I think if you drained several victims and had to pee out all the extra stuff.
Maybe they poop once every hundred years or so?

I just thought of something...
What if they don't poop but pee like you said what do they use their arse for?
If they even have one then?
Maybe it's where their Superfast generators of extra building cells are?
Just pondering. :lol:

hey,
its quit simple when you think about it,
when a vampire turns his body dies and because it dies they cant get any oxygen so they need our blood because of the amount of oxygen we hold in our blood wich means they obsorbe it so id say they dont go to the toilet

Go see the harry potter series ffs

They have a series?
I only saw the first and second movie.
And read books One through four cuz o my mum.

I do not think they would use the toilet. I mean old blood is diffused in the body other ways that defecation.
I think it would all be a matter of what blood type they ingest, I mean if it was ab-, probably not, but if it was all O+, then they may need to pop a squat

Mwahahahaaaaa I'm O+.
Hahahahaa.
Here vampy vampy.
I think it would be hilarious to have a vamp saying this to his victim:
Hold that pose for a sec i gotta take a dump.
Especially one thats a 1000 years+. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

look i dont see what harry potter has to do with this topic to me harry potter are for nerds also i dont think vampires are to picky at what blood type they take other wise there wouldnt be any theyd go hungry and die there hunters and must take whats there its a battle of survival not pickyness

I hate to be a party pooper but I don't see why vampires would need to poop blood is a fluid. Fluid leaves the body by peeing. And as for Harry potter I have no clue why he is in this conversation but hey sh*t happens!

1st order of business: please take summer class in english and grammar.
(it's spelled quite,)
2nd order of busines: take a biology class
(our brain cells deteriorate with not having oxygen after a mere 5 minutes or so on average. not to mention the oxygen in one drink of blood is about enough to sustain us for about 4 minutes max i would think. you would have to literally have a waterfall of blood pouring into the vampire's mouth)

and just to comment about the extra water... we breath out water alot, as in water vapor in our breath. infact almost all products of our bodys are exhaled. (mainly CO2 and H2O) Poop and pee are just products that we can't digest and deal with...

Why would blood type matter? If you're thinking about the universal donor/recipiant thing keep in mind that the blood donor lab takes out the plasma of your blood, which holds the antibodys that act against any foreign antigens. (Antigens are protein markers on your blood cells.) THAT way we are able to give blood... but vampires don't do anything that complex. So unless they had the exact same blood type, they would have blood clotting. Or they have no antibodys at all, and remove any from the blood they digest, so they wouldn't have clotting problem at all.

as more my thoughts, I don't think that classical vampires can even remotely be determined by science... I think of them as beings that are kept in hold by their magical nature, and bonds and so forth... they're maintained by a force we don't understand. (I also don't believe they exist)

I still say they poop out the dead cells they absorb.

no no... they break down the cells. Almost everything is broken down. Please, you need to take a bio class too.

I think that there might be a small degree of anal leakage,

but MR. (OR MS.) BIOLOGY CLASS! vampires themselves break the laws of nature, and thus biology does not apply!

yes, thank your mr. big purple words.

I was aruging why their type of vampires could not work (their scientific model). As I stated, I believe that if vampires were to exist they would be magical.

(your arguement was what again?)

No offence but I got 99% on all my tests in biology.

You know when you make that snort-laugh? You just made me do that. Thanks. ROFL

And of course I'M replying to a pooping vampires thread, hello, 13 over here. Durowr.
I think vampires would crap. I also think vampires would have to eat regular food as well as blood. It would make more sense to me. O_o I mean... that'd be like doing nothing for the rest of your life but drinking water. I'd have to piss a lot. But I'd get awfully hungry. Me especially. The person who just had 12 chicken nuggets, a large fry, a potato and a large ice tea less then an hour ago and is still starving to death. :P

::sighs:: I agree wholeheartedly with IWillFearNoEvil. I think this topic in general is ridiculous, and im 15 and not even that mature. Yet he is the only one who really has had anything intellegant to say. "Pooping Vamps"? Come on now. I may have wondered it once or twice when I was under the influence, but I dont give it serious time and effort.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Ah, you're terrific.

i will fear no evil

you realy need to get an imagination how could you go through life not believing in the unknown to me its what keeps me going to be able to believe in something greater than myself i dont need english classes or biology classes im just fine as i am i beleive im an intelligent person well i must be to be able to studie the mountain gorillas in the rwanda mountain (one day) what you need to know is what i said was not only said by myself it has been published in hundreds of novels and i have put it into my own book on the scientific history of vampires i am not obsessed with vampire and i dont want to become one because there suposedly evil i am intreiged by them and yes im aware of my numerous spelling mistakes so why dont you get of your high horse and stop been a smarty pants and get an imagination because Albert Einstien once siad imagination is more important than knowlegde.

Uh. My god. My eyes.
That was possibly the longest sentance I have ever read.
O_o

^^

Now, breath. He was just giving his ideas on it. Kinda like you were.

I dont think its necessary to call label someone else by their opinion and tell them to get off their high horse...when in all reality you may need to get off yours if you think you deserve to say that to anyone else. but thats just my opinion...

I think we all need to take a step back and look at the fact that we are getting upset over wether or not vampires can poop.... stop and think about it , are you thinking? good because just as long as you can poop and don't explode I don't think it really matters wether or not a vampire can ....

So smile I think we all learned a good lesson today which is pooping is good and exploding is not.

i wholeheartedly agree!

i mean, sorry if you find pooping vampires ridiculous, but you don't have to get all melodramatic silverxbroken. obviously you aren't matured at all, you don't know how to relax and have fun.

oh, and iwillfearnoevil - that's MS big purple words to you buddy!and i do not remember what my argument was. i was just being silly.

In all honesty....this is a fair question.

I myself, have wondered at times, reading through Anne Rice's chronicles, if a classical would use the toilet. Yes, I'm a strange cat, but we knew that already.

So...someone versed in biology. Give me a breakdown of platelets and all that other stuff, give me a breakdown on what makes blood red, and then explain to me just what color a classical vampire's piss would be, and why. I'm going to assume almost clear, for reasons unbeknownst to me at this time.

Prove me wrong or right, I'm just a little curious.

I would think closer to a rust brown color. that is based entirely on the fact that it is the color that blood turns once the cells die, well, at least on like clothing and stuff. Maybe it is just a movie myth, but i don't know.

vampire_love:
in response... I do have a very broad imagination. I'm not sure a really good way to prove this... but I enjoy coming up with ideas, situations... storys... whatever!
I've been coming up with storys left and right... (although I don't quite have the writing skills to excecute them well..)

However I seperate the imaginary from what is truly in our world. I while the possibilities for vampres, my story characters, my own fantasys exist in my mind, I am completely sure that they will not happen in this world.

Also... how can anyone believe in the unknown? It's a contradictory statement :P
(okay just sort of a contradictory statement)

Yes... I've heard that Einstein quote before. However... I've never really liked it. The thing is imagination is unfunctional without SOME amount of knowledge... you'll have absolutely nothing to base your ideas off of. (of course having no knowledge would also imply that you couldn't gain any knowledge, so you would be effectively nonexistant.) However imagination is still a wonderful thing... it's all a fun mental excercise. Knowledge and understanding are good too... it's that feeling of learning when you fit everything together from other people's knowledge that's so completely satisfying.

ANYWAY! back onto poop.

(Sorry MS. currently-thin-white-words. :P Sorry if I was being anal.)

WELL! I'm actually not sure about color.

But the knowledge I do know about relating to color is the porphrins are usually red. (Porphrins are unfinished molecules of Heme, a protein that is used to complete hemoglobin. That we all have so much of in our blood.)

If we're dealing with classicals I would guess that the blood goes through some magical changing process within the vampire when the vampire sucks out all of the soul-energy infused in the blood.... just me guess.

But if that's so the blood wouldn't change physically (it might, but it wouldn't HAVE to.) So... they might just piss red.

And conveintly pissing red was a sign of being a vampire back when! People with porphyria would piss the red porphrins out... looks like blood from the normal eye... anything unnatural dealing with blood automatically makes that person a vampire...

so yeah, just my ideas about that.

That makes sense, I mean, i watch the discovery channel a lot, and i think i remember seeing a program that talked about blood. I am pretty sure that it turns kind of brown/maroon. But who knows, i mean, does the blood get digested? In that case, it might be closer to a yellow color. It also might be yellow if only the red blood cells are used. Kind of a plasma-ish color, anywhere from white to orange(through the yellow section of the spectrum)

Okay, running with the assumption that a hypothetical vampire would pull mystical energy from the blood, and then just kind of passing the rest on... Well, either the vampire would piss red, if he or she took care of "business" *discreet cough* rather soon after, but there's also a fighting chance that the cells would seperate from the plasma in the stomach. In that case, red and white blood cells and platelets would collect in the large intestine, and the vampire would poop. The plasma would be kind of yellowish-clear, like human urine if you drink plenty of water.
The poop itself would be normal color. Since it is dead red blood cells that give our feces its color, it stands to reason that vampire excrement would either be normal color, or perhaps dark colored, almost black, and tarry and sticky, like a human with a bleeding ulcer high in the GI tract. Depends on how much dead red cells are present, and whether or not they're mixed with anything else, like regular food.
Now, if the blood were to be diffused through the stomach lining (hypothetically) and made part of the vampire's own circulatory system, this actually would not change anything. Red blood cells die off, and are strained out of the bloodstream by the kidneys and sent to the large intestine. So, if the donor blood is absorbed into the vampire's own arteries and veins, I assume that the urine and feces would appear to be almost completely normal.
So, pissing red only if the blood is pulled into the stomach, and passed out in a reasonable amount of time like three or four days. Those are my thoughts, behold and be amazed. ^_^

This is all well and good, assuming that the vampire would still, in fact, have normally functioning organs.

ack! can't take it anymore... I don't know if I mentioned this before but:

Everything but small compounds like lipids, proteins, and hemeglobin are broken down when they're digested. So there are no dead red blood cells from digestion, only compounds left and right.

However it is true that the blood cells die after three months in our blood stream, but that's a relatively small amount to account for all that poop. Poop is also organic compounds that aren't digestable, like starch.

so yeah, it's not just about the dead blood cells.

(heh, true salimander)

Couldn't the undead have some really sick way of making sure thet don't need to go for a turd? :morte:

Okay, IWFNE, if you won't take my word for it, ask Creature_Feature. After they die, red blood cells are screened out of the bloodstream and deposited in the large intestine after the main work of digestion has already been carried out in the small intestine.
And by the way, human digestive tracts really are not that efficient. It is silly to say that our food is broken down to component compounds, when in fact large amounts of non-fiber nutrients, starches and proteins make it through intact.

i doubt a vampire can take a sh*t seeing how they dont intake any solids but if they drink alot of bood they must piss like a race horse. or they may distribute of their waste in a diffrent mannor

:lol:

Dear damienreborn:
Please do not look a thread's topic, make an ill-informed decision, and then post a reply into the thread without reading anything in between the topic and your reply button. You never know when stuff might have been said that would mean that you were wrong. Or maybe somebody already said the exact same thing that you wanted to say. Maybe they even said it better than you would.
Don't get me started on spelling.

And, margrave? Posting a smiley isn't clever. Especially not one of the standard clickable smilies. Especially not when it has nothing to do with anything in the thread. Yes, I like getting my posting stats up too.
BTW, as for them having a really sick way of making sure that they don't have to take a turd...
Probably. Good point. Hell, the whole thread is kind of silly. Odds are that vampires actually fuel their power by completely consuming all the energy in the blood, kind of like a fusion reactor or something. That would get rid of most of the mass, the rest could just be exhaled as water vapor like IWFNE said. But if there were vampires, and if those vampires did have to take a shit, what would it be like? How much? What color?

Okay, I was in a bad mood, but now I feel better. ^_^

That is absolutely true, although some of the excess matter from dead erythrocytes are disposed through the excretory system. Also, a large quantity of fecal matter is sloughed off intestinal cells.

I'm a Biology Major, I should know.

I will accept your greater expertise in matters of caca, Pier.
:lol:
I know a bit about viruses, and a bit about immunology, and a bit about biology in general, but it's mostly self-taught so my education is a little scattered. That's why I like having the edumacated types like you around to settle these things.
At least until I get into medical school. B) Then I'll have papers to prove that I've got a big brain. In any debate, documentation trumps any other concern.

And once more, this unfortunate thread is bumped.